some parts of this poem appeared in some haikus i posted but its much bigger here

Ever notice that braggarts and people who hate themselves are the biggest narcissists?
Thats just a statement to chew on before your teeth buckle under all that sugar
Blackened teeth
Running and swirling and gnashing in a snowstorm
Ashes in the wind grin
A steaming scream erupts hot form a volcanic throat and grows cold after it doesnt find a receiving ear
Now blink and remember that my teeth are an underworked whhite color of sheep
And realize those visions were nothing
Overactive imagining is wasted when done by someone sitting on a dirty couch in piss stained underpants
I try very hard to make each wish stick like fat to a frying pan which is difficult without fire
Voices in the room low and whispering as if being watched by unseen helicopters hovering silently outside
Eye in the sky indeed my television is the only person who understands me
"are you trying to say there are worlds beyond this one?"
"no no of course not, everyone knows the shores of california lead to oblivion"
Click
The psychobabble freezes mid sentense and dissappears in an electric circle
I wish I knew how to keep the thoughts which I want to keep
And kill the one which plagues me awake and asleep
This thought
Which devours my dreams
ANd snickers at my schemes
This thought
WHich has grown like a cancer
Enveloping my brain
A slave to a single thought bound by chain
This thought which I peal away at like the layers of an onion
Looking for a center
But when I get there the middle will be empty except for the smell
I want the onion to be pieced back together into a frankenstein rose
Wonderful yet useless except for the occasional bloodletting and a good laugh
At the center of each ideal cooked by an idealistic chef is a retarded flower
I dont want to remember each moment and each blink and each tapping of fingers like it was yesterday
Im not an elephant for dogs sake
So sit me down for a long talk and tell me ive got to FOCUS see how much good it does both of us
I dont want to focus
I wanna hop into a car which puffs smoke out its metal backside like a huge ciggarette with diarrhea
I wanna relive the cliche and drive until we hit oblivion
"WE?"
Oh yes I forgot
Youre not going with me, thats right youre too busy forgetting everything youve ever dreamed
I still remember each moment of each night when i sat with the radio palying Russian classical music
I hadnt given up on fine tuning my art of coercion through words
Tchaikovskys music knows how to travel over hills and tundras and wastelands of ccoldheaded pacifists
I wis I could I wish I could I wish I could
Im a regular locomotive making reference to things only I understand
"So I hear youre gonna head north and live in your own shadow?"
North north north Im sick of north and im sick of south
People want to go north but when they get there they decide to migrate south despite their lack of wings
Am I making no sense?
Well then here it is
"The west is a state where you grind to green dust on wheels and the east is a useless state of mind"

I liked it