it seems alot of people have mixed feelings about this subject and how
to go about it... so heres my two cents =)

Prologue - Much of this has been covered, and im sure it will continue
to be covered. The topic of who is serious and who is out just to get a
free ride. Im sure this topic will be debated till the end of time….
Kind of like religion. Despite all of us having our troubles and being
burned time after time…one thing we should all learn is while it is
“smart” to be “guarded” to avoid any further hurt ect. The truth of it
is that we only cause ourselves more pain. Think about it? The last
thing you want is the people whom have affected you for the negative to
have the last laugh. So now your smarter, you learned a few tricks, what
to look out for , what to do and not to do in the next relationship.
However in truth… you only hurt yourself. For you have just made it that
much harder to have a honest “fresh start” you hold on to the burdens of
the old and bring it into the new. I’m not saying that you should simply
forget, that would be stupid, use what you know now as a strength not a
weakness. Ok so where am I going with this right?



Chapter 1- What is the point of being guarded when talking to someone
new? You achieve nothing by this…. How do you expect anything to come
out of it when you or the other person isn’t willing to open up? What
needs to happens is to shed your fears. Think about it….. you can filter
people all you want…sure you can knock out a few that its obvious they
are not right for you…. But you cant filter out them all. A person
could do all the right things and say everything that you could ever
hope for, hell you could even marry this person…but as many
know…heh….the person you thought you knew…. Well they an’t really the
person they lead you to believe. So you will never really know the
persons motives, sad but true.. you just have to take it at face value
sometimes… if the person is saying they are serious about it and saying
all the right stuff… well you know? It just might be true…yet it might
not be. This cant really be avoided…yes it can to a point… but I think
ya all know what I’m getting at. If any of this is going to work… you
need to start it with a open heart and clear mind. Otherwise its like
attending a debate class where everyone keeps their opinions to their
self.

Chapter 2-…. I am so freak’n pissed off at all the a=holes and pervs
that had made this crap THAT MUCH harder to get in the good graces of a
girl… however I don’t blame you girls one bit… in a way…. I mean there
are a lot of sick **** out there, but hey we guys gotta watch out for
the sick gals that want to ummm “make our Mr. Winkys go bye bye.” A.k.a,
Dismemberment /shiver.



Chapter 3 - ah power of the internet…. I think this whole online dating
thing could in many ways work better then up close “blind dating.” To
bad it has one huge downfall that will always cripple it…in a sense. I
don’t know about others but I myself have found this to be an issue. In
real life, im great with people I think I have very strong communication
skills that allow me to make strangers feel warm and welcomed.
Communication is a huge key to learning more about someone, sadly while
we have emotes and such… it will never have the same affect as actual in
person communication. I have a rather strong personality, im very
spontaneous and love to be silly. And will play and joke around with a
person when I can… that’s just who I am…however online… since no tones/
pitches of the voice can be heard or smiles seen that would inform you
as to when im angry , happy, or being just plain silly this will never
accurately be seen and tends to cause A LOT of miss communication. So I
ask for the ladies…. If its me your talking with or some other guy. (
vice versa for the girls having this problem too.) keep a open mind.
Try to read between the lines. If your confused or think your getting
the wrong message…well just ask to be sure! Communication IS THE KEY.
Someone asks you a question try, try , TRY not to give short answers ..
yes and no only turns into 20 questions and makes it THAT much harder
for “chemistry to kick in.” which in itself can be hard to come by cause
its over the web… thing with chemistry is.. well humans where not born
from the internet we are born from nature, nature has imbued us with
very sensual and subtle gifts that will only translate in person.. You
could have awesome chemistry over the web, meet up and nadda… same
thing… slow going online… BAM look at the fireworks when ya first meet.
Im not trying to push anyone into thinking that its best to contact
someone online and rush out to go meet them. I only want to bring this
up so that you may keep this all in mind when considering someone for
your first mate position. It is a dark world we live in…. but there is
also much beauty don’t shut out the sun… open the curtains let it flow
in… start your day with happy thoughts and who knows… if your lucky… the
happy thoughts will stick around for more then twenty four hours….



In closing…. If your looking for something real…THEN BE REAL. Be real to
yourself be real to others…. Looking for serious guys/ girls only…
someone that can do a LTR, don’t judge them by first impressions. If
they say they want LTR then just give them the benefit of the doubt….
You have a better chance of finding what your looking for this way as
opposed to the … this person says they are ready…but blah blah blah I
think other wise cause they are too pretty, too young, the reasons go
on and on.

So all that’s left to say is I hope this has helped at least one other
person for the better and best of wishes to you all…..

-KM (one of the good guys… little crazy, but very much sane.)

ummmm ok.. gotcha!

this is the same thing I've been saying,,,
only in not soooooo many words.....lol...
just bits and pieces......M.

yeah lol i have fun writign though...no mater how short or long i always
drift away with it =P

cut it down, then re-post it. too long

hell,then he'd write a book!
a bunch of lil' books!

that we can read over a--l--o--n--g time and not all at once.

I did injoy the mesg form kar.. it was right on reading--

"ltr" means long-term relationship...right?!..im new...

well said hon......... but then there are guys and gals too .. that just
want what they can get when they can get uit no matter who [m] they
hurt.. huh.?
and tell me mr wizard how does one know if the one they are seeing is
GENUINE????????????
bigbay

good question bigbayhrsrider.. how DO we KNOW who is GENUINE and who is
out for the ride or the party?

YOU CALL THAT 2 CENTS THAT MORE LIKE A FUCKING 25 CENTS LOL.

Great post, hopefully more people will read it.

G

so right on the money...good post :D

im a wizard? kick ass.
its all kinda bitter sweet imo. i mean a person could be genuine from
one hour to three years or more. the point of it really is not to
distince yourself when looking for the person... it sucks.. but pain is
life, common sense applies.. ( depending what you consider common
sense.) when figuring out who is real and who isnt during the start. i
think its really a matter of finding a balence... love them with all
your heart yet try so very hard to keep in mind that they are human too,
and b/c of that they have an identity of their own that is only known by
them... and as we all age we all grow, people change...sometimes for the
better other times for the worse... i think the key is to find a way to
grow together, but not grow into each other or grow away from
eachother... /shrug as far as keeping a LTR alive. ALOt of this is soooo
much easier said then done lol. crap dispite my saying this im still in
the same boat you all are lol. i could go in a crap load of directions
with this lol but i dont want to irritate people..or accidently ramble
and find myself talking about something off subject.

that and to learn to accept who the person is rather then "tolerate".
but hey you could get this down to a science... it it would still all be
for nothing if the other person doesnt see it the same way.. as always
it works 2 ways

ITS A GOOD POST BUT DAMM, I DO NOT REALLY LIKE TO READ...

HAVE A LONG TERM LIFE!!

i wanna touch on the online expression part. in some ways, online
relationships can be better than real world relationships. however, i
dont think it should ever be one or the other, it is better to think of
them augementing each other...

i wish there were better ways to communicate online. what about little
video clip messages that you could send to one another. im not sure
video chat is really that effective/fun yet... but video messages might
be...

webcams are getting cheaper and cheaper if there was a cool way to use
them it might catch on...

what do you guys think of that idea? do you have any ideas on how we
can communicate over the net better? we think there's lot of room for
innovation and we're excited about trying some new ideas...

My personal feeling is that the old way is the best way.

I mean we communicat just fine I think. A little slow but effective. I
just tried Yahoo IM and didn't work out too good. Your Im does a better
job I think. So far it's becoming a success.

Good job Loard Vanhua!

video messages / webcam that would cool to see come around. only thing
that seems kinda iffy about web cams is that it would bring in the "cam
girl" type of operations...maybe if you where able to find a way to
filter such things out...? hate to see such a nice site get plagued with
such things.

VANCHAU IF YOU COULD HAVE A VIDEO CHAT BOX, LIKE A EMAIL

CLICK ON IT AND WHEN IT POPS UP, ANYONE ALREADY SET UP ON THERE COMPUTER
A INLINE CAM.

THEN WHEN YOU CLICK ON THE CAM CHAT BOX, POOF, YOU AND THEM
HAVE INSTANT TALK AND LIVE VIDEO TO EACH PARTY.

THAT WOULD BE THE COOLEST THING SINCE ICE-CREAM!!!

THEN YOU KNOW THAT THE VOICE MATCHES THE FACE AND SEE ALL
EXPRESSIONS AND KNOW THERE VOICE,,,HELL-YA..