Father

My child, my soul, my heart, my hurt...
Where were you when I needed you?
Always a father I sought,
rejection was what I found.

Non-verbal, non-committal, unresponsive, unfeeling.
Where were my lessons?
Where was my knights training?

Young man sent crashing into the world.
Hell-bent on getting by,
Heart rent but never cried.
At some point my father died.

Love me I begged, when I saw my friend's Dad's,
resenting them deeply, never realizing how sad.

At thirty I became what I never had.
No experience had I at being a Dad.
Praise God, my King, for rescuing me,
and making me the father I never did see.

My son, my child, my heart, never hurt.
for you to know God is my life's work.
The man Im to be is because of you.
Seeking God in my life, one of the manly few.

Dis-jointed and random are my thoughts.
The thoughts of a man in the brain of a child, in the mind of a teen.
Never bad for long because my spirit is filled.

Forgiven daily, my job also is to forgive, to learn to trust, to teach to forgive.
To live, to give, my heart is Christ's bedroom but my mind is a wordly sieve.

Clearly I think jumbled thoughts.
All my ducks are in a row except for one that cannot swim.
It sinks instead.

Dead.

And up jumps God's Holy Ghost to ressurect it and again my mind is mine.

Forgive me King for not forgiving.
Forgive me 7 x 70 for not thinking heavenly.
My hero, the man I sought as a child was always there.
Why did I fear?
He held me dear,
eyes filled with tears.

wow.. did you write that?

WOW. WOW. I am so touched. I lost my Dad many years ago and felt many of those same things with a similar end... If you wrote this you are gifted...

good stuff my friend! keep it coming

Thank you.

My girlfriend and I were having a mini praise and worship session the other night and Im not nearly as openly expressive as she is... so I started writing.

And a few things came out.

Im a photographer by trade, Love to read but have never really thought of writing, so I really do appreciate the compliments.

Wow, what an incredible poem, absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing with us.