December 30th

There is an old German folk tale in which the Good Fairy one gift: "the ability to foresee the outcme of everything she does".

It is a gift we could all use, especially when we give way to dispair, at all costs, to free ourselves from a situation that seems unendurable.

If we could visualize the outcome of a move such as breaking up a marriage, for example, we might not be so ready to deprive our children of a parent; we might shrink from the heavy responsibilities we'd have to meet. ABove all, we would still have to contend with our own shortcomings, the very ones that may have helped to bring us to the point of disperation.


If we want to make a major change which effects other lives as well, let me first consider the possible outcome. HAve I really tried to examine and correct my own faults? Is there a way for me to improve my attitude? I will let the great decision wait until I have tried that.

"The truly wise solution may lie in improving myself."

Good words HJ, I've been working on that...

Thats what I have to do.

Improve myself.

Nothing like a drill instructor yellin at ya for 9 months.

I think I will be much improved and have a clearer head.

If I dont end up dead, but thats part of the job.

Well said OP

But also remember that a person should love you for yourself. Small changes are fine as long as they dont affect you sa a person. However if you can be happy with them then the changes are still a part of what you have become.

December 31

As we look back over the year just gone, it has been a good year to the extent that we have put good thoughts, good words, and good deeds into action. None of what we have thought, said, or done need be wasted. Both the good and the bad experiences can be profited by. In a sense, the past is not entirely gone. The result of it, for good or evil, is with us at the present moment. We can only learn by experience and none of our experience is completely wasted. We can humbly be thankful for the good things of the year that has gone.

You cannot step twice in the same river, for other waters are continually flowing on. ~Heraclitus

Janurary 1

In the new year, I will live one day at a time. I will make make each day one of preperation for better things ahead. I will not dwell in the past or in the future, only on the present. I will bury every fear of the future, all thoughts of bitterness, all my dislikes, my resentments, my sense opf failure, my disappointments in others, and in myself, my gloom & my despondency. I will leave all things buried and go forward in the new year, into a new life.

well said! there is alot of change i need to make in myself and i really plan on doing that this year..
new year, new challenges, new risks and chances....new everything right?!~

Each day, a new beginning..

Well said HJ..

Happy New Year...

very true HJ. plus i had a good ending to a bad year...so i just look at it as a good start to a new year!

What a great way to start the New Year HJ! You have summed up the resolution that has been swirling in my mind and heart .

Janurary 2

If I were to sit down in a quiet corner and look back over the happenings of my troubled life as though I were examining the life of someone else or reading about it in a book, how would it appear to me? I know I can do this by guarding against all self-justication; looking at the facts honestly. Have I said or done things in haste? anger or desperation that made my situation worse? Are there things I recall with regret? We learn from experience, and only by making up our minds not to repeat past mistakes.

"When I am tempted or pressured into irrational behaviour, I pray that I may stop and think before before I do or say anything whatever. I ask God to remove these impulses and help me to grow into the person I want to be."

I agree with this statment, it is so ME. I will not dwell on the past and I am only looking forward to MY future and MY childrens futures as well. Life is only what WE make it, and the way it is going so far, IT LOOKS PRETTY GOOD.

Janurary 3

Conflict is not bad; it is neccessary. In any good, intimate partnership, the two people reveal themselves, their differences sometimes are interesting & enjoyable and sometimes create conflict. A good colflict is open and honest and without ego. When one person reveals his or her thoughts, the other person listens and hears them as a genuine expression that must be taken into account. The simple act of listening is usually most important; agreement isn't always neccessary. Most of the time, a person just wants to be heard. Agreement is required when there is only one path that can be chosen. Then, the wisdom of two loving and honest people can lead to a mutual agreement that often turns out to be be a better than either individual path.

The true, uniwue nature of any of any intimate partnership only takes place through genuine conflict and resolution. Crisis faced and resolved become the foundation for continuing and deepening mutual understanding and intamacy.


"A marriage without conflicts is almost as inconceivable as a nation without crisis." ~Andre Maurois

Our past is a part of us something that should never be forgotten but instead we should learn from it. Regardless of the things in the past we can not change what we have said or done. But........... we do have the choice on the here and now and the future to come.

Learn from your past make amends and never burn your bridges as you walk this journey through life. For some day you may need to cross those bridges again. Never say never for you can not predict the future of what is to come your way. We can only take blame for our own actions and not of those from others. Forgive those that hurt you in the past and learn from them then move on.

You can not make someone love you you can only love them in return. There is no relationship that is worth fighting for if yur the only one fighting for it. It takes two to give 100%. We can sit and ask why for the rest of our lives and still may not ever have the answer why one did not work out. One must learn to deal with the situation and move on they must realize they were not the one for them but... a mere stepping stone in life to the one they were meant to be with.

Life is not an easy road to travel this journey we take is long and has many curves ahead. But at no time should we sit down and whine or just give up. Speak your peace and keep moving forward. Even when the road seems bleak if you focus ahead and remember your dreams you will see that ray of light ahead keep going forward and be willing at times to take the hand before you. Just make sure you repay the kindness you are given along the way.

Just my thoughts after reading this thread.

May you all find what you seek in 2008 and if not then keep on going till you do. Never give up for life is what we make of it we can either chose to enjoy it and be content or we can chose to change it it is up to each of us to move forward.

And what if, at some point, for some reason, one does not have the ability to give 100% at that particular time?

To love, is to "risk" not being loved in return.

Awww but what would the reasons be not to give your all in what you do. Besides in a relationship things will not always be perfect there is no such thing as perfect. At times one will be down and he other will be there to give a little more to bring them back up. But at no times can both throw there hands up and say I give up not if they expect it to last and be able to move on. A relationship is all about Trust, Respect, Honesty and Love with out those you have nothing. Two people should enhance each other never tear them down.


Love is a risk but if the love is not returned it will never work love is a two way street.

Precisely!!! Hence, there will be times when one is not capable of giving 100%, maybe only 80&. Therefore the othe partner must be willing , at times, to give 120% in order to sustain the realtionship..

(((hugs)))

Janurary 4

Sharing experiences widens one's horizons and opens opens out new and better ways to deal with difficulties. There is no need to solve them alone.

Humm that is unless you are alone then you do the best you can and if you must reatain the opinion of a friend. If your with a partner then they should be your board you bounce your thoughts and ideals off of in order to come to a solution to what ever the problem is. For a problem solved gives more time to tackle others that are pending.