From a conversation between Secretary for the Department of Administrative Affairs and the Personal Assistant to the Minister, taped from the Series .., and leaked here.

Bernard (PA): He's going to say something new and radical in the broadcast.

Appleby (Secretary): What, that silly Grand Design? Bernard, that was precisely what you had to avoid! How did this come about? I shall need a very good explanation.

B: Well, he's very keen on it.

A: What's that got to do with it? Things don't happen just because Prime Ministers are very keen on them. Neville Chamberlain was very keen on peace!

B: He thinks it's a vote-winner.

A: Ah. That's more serious. Sit down. What makes him think that?

B: Well, the party had an opinion poll done, and it seems all the voters were in favor of bringing back national service.

A: Well, have another opinion poll done showing the voters are AGAINST bringing back national service.
B: They can't be for it AND against it.

A: Oh, of course they can, B. Have you ever been surveyed?
B: Yes. Well, not me, actually, my house. Oh, I see what you mean.

A: Bernard, you know what happens. A nice young lady comes up to you. Obviously you want to create a good impression, you don't want to look a fool, do you?
B: No.

A: No. So she starts asking you some questions. Mr Woolley, are you worried about the number of young people without jobs?
B: Yes.

A: Are you worried about the rise in crime among teenagers?
B: Yes.

A: Do you think there's a lack of discipline in our comprehensive schools?
B: Yes.

A: Do you think young people welcome some authority and leadership in their lives?
B: Yes.

A: Do you think they respond to a challenge?
B: Yes.

A: Would you be in favour of reintroducing national service?
B: ...Oh. Well, I suppose I might be.

A: Yes or no?
B: Yes.

A: Of course you would, Bernard. After all you've told me, you can't say no to that. So, they don't mention the first five questions and they publish the last one.

B: Is that really what they do?

A: Not the reputable ones, no, but there aren't many of those. Alternatively, the young lady can get the opposite result.

B: How?

A: Mr Woolley, are you worried about the danger of war?
B: Yes.

A: Are you worried about the growth of armaments?
B: Yes.

A: Do you think there's a danger in giving young people guns and teaching them how to kill?
B: Yes.

A: Do you think it's wrong to force people to take up arms against their will?
B: Yes.

A: Would you oppose the reintroduction of national service?
B: Yes.

A: There you are, you see, Bernard. The perfect balanced sample. So we just commission our own survey for the Ministry of Defense. See to it, Bernard.
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