Twas the night before christmas and god it was neat,the kids were all gone and the wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted and the phone off the hook,i't was time for some nooky,by hook or by crook. Mama in her teddy and i in the nude,had just hit the bedroom,and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn thier arose such a cry,that i lost my boner,and poor mama went dry. Up to the window i sprang like an elf,tore back the shades,while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,showed a broom up his ass,buried to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear,but a rusty old sleigh,and 8 mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver,half outta his sled,a sock in his ear,a bra on his head. Sure as i'm speakin he was high as a kite,and he yelled at his team,but it didn't sound right. Whoa stupid,Whoa ****head,Whoa asshole,Whoa putz,either slow down this rig,or i'll cut off your nuts. Look out for the lamp post,and don't hit the tree,and quit shaking the sleigh,cause i gotta pee. They cleared the old lamp post,the tree got a rub,just as santa leaned out,and threw out my shrub. And the from the roof top we heard such a clatter,as each mangy reindeer emptied it's bladder. I was donning my coat to cover my ass,when down the chimney santa came with a crash. His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,he looked like a bum,he smelled like a whore. That was some brothel,he said with a smile,the reindeer are pooped,i'll just stay here awhile. He walked to the kitchen,himself poured a drink,he pulled out his pecker,and pissed in the sink. I started to laugh,my wife smiled with glee,the old boy was hung nearly down to his knee. Back in the den,santa reached for his sack,the toys were all gone,and some new things were all packed. The first thing he found,was a pair of false tits,the next was a hand gu,with a penis that spits. A box with condoms was santa's next find,and 6 pairs of panties,the edible kind. A bra with nipples,a penis extension,and several other things,i shouldn't even mention. A **** ring,a g string,and all kinds of oil,a dildo so long it lay in a coil. This stuff ain't for kids,mrs.santa will ****,so i'll leave it here,and then i'll just split. He filled every stocking and then took his leave,with one tiny butt plug,tucked under his sleeve. He sprang to his sleigh,but his feet were like lead,thus he fell on his ass,and broke wind instead. In time he was seated,and took the reins of his hitch,take me home **** head,this night been a *****! The sleigh was near gone,when we heard santa shout,the best thing about sex,is it never wears out.

Thats so funny.

hope no 1 gets offended it's all in jest merry chritmas

Sounds like how Santa looked after we partied with all his Ho Ho Ho's

Good 1 Bro