Topic: Finding someone isn't a easy task. | |
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We may encounter (s)he, yet we always made a wrong choice. That's suck!.
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I meant, finding the "RIGHT ONE" isn't a easy task.
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True, we may have to kiss a lot of frogs.. It helps if you enjoy kissing..
Best of luck |
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Edited by
john
on
Fri 06/12/20 02:30 AM
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Gotta agree with the both of you
on this one |
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Yeah, its like fairytale.
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Hopefully it's a happily eve after..
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You can find me at least once a week in the produce section of the supermarket squeezing melons.
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That's suck!. Well... If she's any good at it, she has potential as a "keeper". |
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We may encounter (s)he, yet we always made a wrong choice , finding the "RIGHT ONE" isn't a easy task
It should be the easiest thing in the world. Humans are biologically developed for it. What makes any task difficult is: 1. Lack of preparedness. 2. Lack of abilities/tools. 3. Unrealistic expectations (which includes self deception). 4. Antithetical training. What have you done to prepare your life/personality to accept the "right one?" Do you know how to identify the "right one?" Or are you waiting for your feelings to tell you that you've found them? Do you have experience seeing how others (especially family members you've spent a long time with) found their "right one" and what that means? Will you/your ego/your personality/your life accept this change? What struggles do you expect and can you identify them? Do you knee jerk react emotionally? 2. What abilities/tools do you have that will facilitate a relationship with the "right one" that is compatible with theirs? This is highly dependent upon what type of relationship you "really" want with the "right one." People get into the relationships they want and/or they're capable of having. A lot of people "say" they want a "long term relationship." But when you talk to them, learn their history, they don't. They want a convenient relationship. And that's what their history is telling them. But they don't want to see it. It's a big rationalizing game to avoid having to look at themselves and what they're doing. 3. You may have an idea of what the "right one" is...but what do you have that communicates to the "right one" (in a way that they understand) that you are their "right one?" You want something from them, you want them to be something, you value these things in them. They may not value the same things in you or have other things they value as well. Or IOW you want them to bring "something to the table" (whatever makes them the "right one"). From their perspective, not yours, what do you bring to the table? Or do you believe the "right one" will have to (only?) value the exact same things about you that you do about yourself? 4. What experience do you have in maintaining relationships? I mean when you're a teenager dating a teenager you're both learning how together. When you're 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, you're bringing what you've learned from all your relationships to the new one. Baggage. Have most of your relationships been short? You've been trained in short term relationships. How about your "right one?" What will their history be like? Do you have a close relationship with your parents? Or at 18 did you/your parents decide the benefit was over so you/they decided you should go away and just come back on holidays to maintain the idea of a relationship without any real effort, just riding on past memories? Stable long term friendships where boundaries were always maintained? Do you keep in touch with old teachers telling them how they affected your life? Do you "hide in your shell" until someone "gets to know you?" Finding the "right one" increases in difficulty when you're primarily responding to emotional impulses. It becomes easier the more honest and realistic you are with yourself, what you're looking for, why you're looking for it, how and what you're going to do about it, with time spent specifically "working" on things that facilitate these things. A lot of people have the "plenty of fish in the sea!" mentality. Which is a bad mentality. They approach it as "I'm just going to pop into the local fishing hole, drop this awesome bait which is just average stuff I found in the fridge, and keep pulling out fish until I find the right one. It's a numbers game, gotta kiss alotta frogs, hehe." Then they cry and complain that they aren't easily pulling out those record breaking trophy bass or marlin like professional anglers. And just because I can't help it, to take the analogy further, whine and cry that the mounted trophy fish purchased on the internet isn't providing the proper emotional fulfillment as catching one, and that the sellers are lying about their product in order to get you to buy. Other than that, you have the power to make your task easier or harder. Starts with your perspective and commitment. Good luck with that! |
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We may encounter (s)he, yet we always made a wrong choice. That's suck!. |
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You can find me at least once a week in the produce section of the supermarket squeezing melons. With their permission? |
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hii
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You can have fun and be happy just meeting people and doing things until you find the right one. Even if someone is not the one, they might still be interesting or a good friend -and you will also meet other people while doing things -or they will notice you and want to know you. The more people you meet, the better your chances -but don't be too goal-oriented. If you are just out to have good clean fun, you will not be disappointed -and you don't have to wait to find the one to be happy. You will also be more attractive to people if you are positive and having fun!
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I look at it this way.... walking on the beach looking for nice shells and other things is a good time in itself. Walking by a million shells you don't want doesn't bother you -but if you find one you do want -even better.
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