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| Topic: Dire Sheep | |
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The collective angst
Burning my eyes The corporate dread Of dire sheep Dangerous gullibility Gone to seed Taking to heart What takes the heart away from you Notions of malignancy Wages of self sufficiency Paid forward Carelessly taking care Of most mundane matters Ignoring what matters the most Feeling the heartbeat Sensing the stillness in the fullness of a breath Singing not Yet leaving nothing unsung The song sings itself No more monkeys throwing saddles on my back No tug of war with my yoke fellows Pulling together at last The storm blew down the fence that kept us apart. The veil in the temple torn to shreds by your winds Blessed are the eyes that are blind Nothing wrong with being alright Living while i die while i live No fish to save from drowning No clown to save from crying Adorned with vastness Clothed with emptiness Fathomless awareness Fully alive |
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The collective angst Burning my eyes The corporate dread Of dire sheep Dangerous gullibility Gone to seed Taking to heart What takes the heart away from you Notions of malignancy Wages of self sufficiency Paid forward Carelessly taking care Of most mundane matters Ignoring what matters the most Feeling the heartbeat Sensing the stillness in the fullness of a breath Singing not Yet leaving nothing unsung The song sings itself No more monkeys throwing saddles on my back No tug of war with my yoke fellows Pulling together at last The storm blew down the fence that kept us apart. The veil in the temple torn to shreds by your winds Blessed are the eyes that are blind Nothing wrong with being alright Living while i die while i live No fish to save from drowning No clown to save from crying Adorned with vastness Clothed with emptiness Fathomless awareness Fully alive I have not commented on your poems for one reason. Do you wish to know? |
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sure i respect what you have to say
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Nice poem
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Edited by
Ladywind7
on
Wed 03/18/20 01:47 PM
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sure i respect what you have to say
I can not privately message you because of your settings and I am hesitant to post here??? Let me know if it is ok to post here 
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sure you can post here or let me know what settings to change and ill change them. i am new to this and don't understand how it all works quite yet
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About the poetry. This is only my opinion and you may disagree...
It is awesome, most lines are deep and surprising. I really like your writings. The only thing is... It is too busy. You cover so many themes in one poem that the brain is overwhelmed. I would love to see you have one or two themes in a poem, even if you have to make the poem shorter. We all think different. I believe if you stick to one topic and stay there, but embellish it with your wealth of metaphors, you will reach people. Because what you have to say is excellent. I hope you are not offended by my comments, I truly want to help your poems be appreciated more. |
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not offended at all thank you. appreciate your input
I will take what you shared into consideration next time I write
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Thank you. I just wanted to make you the best poet you can be...
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S
 UPER🥈
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I like and understand your writing Cowboy. We all need to have eyes wide open for what's coming.
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