Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all
day and most of the night.

Mick, the bartender, says "You'll not be drinking
any
more tonight, Paddy." Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll
be
on my way then".

Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He
falls flat on his face.

"What the...." he says and pulls himself up by the
stool and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on
his
face again.

"Damn!" he says. He looks to the doorway and
thinks
that if he can just get to the door and get some
fresh
air he'll be fine.

He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the door
frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep
breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a
step out onto the pavement and falls flat on his
face.

"Bi' Jesus... I'm soused," he says. He can see his
house just a few doors down, and decides to try for
it. He crawls down the street and shimmies up the
door frame, opens the door and looks inside.

He takes a look up the stairs and says, "No flippin'
way." But he somehow crawls up the stairs to his
bedroom door and thinks, "I think I can make it to
the
bed."

He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his
face again. He says, "This is hell. I gotta stop
drinking," but manages to crawl to the bed and fall
in.

The next morning, his wife comes into the room
carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy.
Did
you have a wee bit to drink last night?"

Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was totally pissfaced.
But how'd you know?"





"Mick called.. You left your wheelchair at the pub

that was just wrong