1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.

3. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

4. Get rid of your cat.

5. Sunday = TV Sports.

6. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

7. You have too many shoes.

8. Crying is blackmail.

9. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

10. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

11. Peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

12. Simple "yes" and "no" are perfectly acceptable answers.

13. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

14. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

15. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

16. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

17. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done -- not both.

18. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

19. You have enough clothes.

20. Men are from earth; women are from earth. Deal with it.

I think we should pee on the seat and pull out the light bulb and leave the seat up..so when men go to the throan...splash....man thats cold water..and that rim of toilet hurts to...

Max if I need a laugh I can count on reading your posts.

ha ha ha ...thanx for the appreciation ...

Women's rules for men

TOP 30 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT US!!!




1. Don't ever lie to us, we always find out.

2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.

3. Don't say you understand when you don't.

4. Girls are petty, get over it.

5. You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.

6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

7. If you talk about having a big ****, we know you don't.

8. Zit's happen to everyone. Yes, Mr. Perfect, even to you.

9. We don't like it when you act like Mr Big; we like it when you are Mr Big.

10.A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.

11. No matter what you say, your ex girlfriend is a pig.

12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.

13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.

14. Be spontaneous, dinner and a movie won't always cut it.

15. We are self-conscious by nature, we can't help it.

16. We are drama queens.

17. Fashion police do exist.

18. Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it.

19. We absolutely do not care about monster trucks, or anything else you and your friends talk about, like: how much you know about the video games, porn, computers, Star Wars, etc.

20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.

21. We don't shave our legs every day, get over it.

22. Don't make bets about us, we always find out.

23. Shave - no matter how cool you think it looks, we hate it.

24. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it's not.

25. Don't compare our breasts with Brittany Spear's, hers are fake.

26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.

27. We are beautiful, but make-up helps. (All girls love makeup, do not call us prissy or tell us we worry to much about the way we look for wearing it.)

28. We will always think we are fat so humor us and tell us we aren't.

29. It doesn't make you look cool to make fun of someone else.

30. If you ever beat us in a sport or game, it's always because you cheated, even if you didn't.