Man: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: Sir, you were speeding.
Man: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Man: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Man: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Man: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Man: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Man: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Man: His body parts are in plastic bags in the boot if you want to see.

The Cop looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 cop cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car.

Cop 2: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The man steps out of her vehicle.

Man: Is there a problem officer?
Cop 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Man: Murdered the owner?
Cop 2: Yes, could you please open the boot of your car, please.

The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

Cop 2: Is this your car, sir?
Man: Yes, here are the registration papers. The Cop is quite stunned.
Cop 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The man digs into his pocket and pulls his license out and hands it to the garda. The garda snaps it and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Cop 2: Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Man: Bet you the lying bollocks told you I was speeding too!!!!!

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