I don't remember if I posted this before, if I have, sorry for the double post, just tryin to lighten up the atmosphere here.

Things we say and what we mean by them a rosetta stone to understanding just what the fuk your other half is trying to tell you:

Woman: We need to talk.
What it means: I need to talk, scream, yell, or cry YOU need to sit there and just listen, just nod your head in agreement God help you if you even think about arguing with me.

Man: We need to talk.
What it means: I want to have sex with someone else, or I have already been having sex with someone else, I wouldn't even be telling you this but it has become abundantly clear that trying to have sex with you is way more trouble than its worth.

Man: I think we should try something to spice up our love life
Meaning: your friend is hot, and I want to have a threesome

Woman: i think we should try something to spice up our love life
Meaning: You have long ago abandoned any attempt at foreplay.Not that you did that much of it to begin with. And that one move you keep trying...STOP IT, I am not a porno chick.

Man: you have beautiful eyes
Meaning: Nice tits

Man: you have a nice smile
Meaning: Nice tits

Woman: you have nice eyes
Meaning: that's one expensive watch you got on

Woman: you have a nice smile
Meaning: Those shoes look expensive too.

Man: Whew I had a rough day at work
Meaning: I want you to give me a blow job

Woman: Whew I had a rough day at work
Meaning: You had better ask me about my day and then shut the fuk up and listen. If you ask me for a blow job tonight I will be kicking you in square in the junk so do yourself a favor and just shut the fuk up and give me a back rub and foot massage.

Woman: Do these pants make me look fat?
Meaning: I'm insecure and need you to reassure me that I'm physically appealing. I will kill you in your sleep if you do not answer correctly. I don't throw out freebie questions like this very often so you had better not **** it up.

Man: Do these pants make me look fat?
Meaning: I have just figured out that I'm gay.

Man: I have a headache tonight
Meaning: I already had sex with my secretary at work, now let me just go to sleep before I incriminate myself further.

Woman: I have a headache tonight
Meaning: Listen jerk off, I told you to stop doing that one move you keep trying, it hurts and it feels like an alien in probing me with a bowie knife, until you stop that **** you are not getting any.

Man: MMM we should cuddle
Meaning: I have finally been able to get her to sleep with me, I better cuddle or else I ain't getting any tomorrow. Please don't fall asleep on her, please don't fall asleep on her, please don't fall asleep on her

Woman: mmm we should cuddle
Meaning: If you don't give me some cuddle time you sure ain't getting any tomorrow. If you fall asleep on me I promise you that you'll never even wake up to see tomorrow.

Woman: i think we should see other people
meaning: i've already been seeing other people

Man:I think we should see other people
meaning: I've already been seeing other people

Man: You have a great personality
meaning: you're fat or flat as a board, but I'm in the midst of a dry spell and I'll take what I can get

Woman: You have a great personality
meaning: I don't want to have sex with you. But feel free to listen to me yap about my emotions, ambitions, my complaints about my other girlfriends or my b****ing about that asshole I'm actually having sex with.

Man: I love you
meaning: I have figured out that I am no longer attractive to any other women, so I guess I'm stuck with you.

Woman: I love you
meaning: GOTCHA

Dude, that is some funny ass stuff. Kudos on a classic post!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA