Topic: closing eyes, fingers move.
Unsane's photo
Sat 12/08/07 10:09 PM
and now, a little contemplation on something many guys are too proud to admit; lust.
***

i once cared.

i once watched every race
every little line of restraint.

watched them, and tried to figure it out
tired to watch them crush me into oblivion.

i didnt know that it had already happened. its
its kinda funny. kinda funny how things work.

i think that maybe i dont know you as well as i thought
though, hey, whats the problem?
ive got thelook
youve got the moves, and all in all
we are both oh so lonely
never mind the fifteen girls watching me
looking away as i look forward. wishing to be that one
that one i call you


so i dance here. ashamed
of the only thing that keeps my alive.
my drive to be with you - it has been so long

so now the scene melts and i wonder what in the f*ckinghell

i was thinking when i said ive got nothing for you to live.

i
want

to leave here. i want you to come with me. sure, the storm
will follow us
but what can we do about it? run faster? you know that
we have no chance
oh boy, i still think about the subtle curve of your chest
even as the world promises to crush us.


so hey, lets stay here.
no, i wont hurt you. i will protect you.
just take off that shirt. yes, just like that.

tell me you love me. that turns me on.

neanderthalDave's photo
Sat 12/08/07 10:20 PM
im a fan, keep it up man

CrazyPalindrome's photo
Sun 12/09/07 12:41 AM
don't ask me why... but it made me think of Dance, Soterios Johnson, Dance by Jonathan Coulton... I think it was the dancing bit... I don't actually know. But I like the peice. Very nice.

TxsGal3333's photo
Sun 12/09/07 12:59 AM
Another good one great write its is different style but hey
that is what life is about being differnt keep it up.bigsmile

no photo
Tue 12/11/07 09:47 AM
Loved it and loved the ending. I sometimes stuggle with the endings to my poems. You're good.

peachiegirl28's photo
Tue 12/11/07 09:56 AM
very good....keep writingflowerforyou

Unsane's photo
Tue 12/11/07 10:33 AM
yeah, i like the ending of this one too.

takes it from being a pretty love poem to being sort of crude and very human.