OMG!!! I MISSED GARBAGE DAY!!! I NEVER MISS GARBAGE DAY!!!! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZUS!!!!! HMMMM THANKFULLY I DONT CREATE A LOT OF GARBAGE!!!

Hey tallguy and purple!!!!!

Hmmmmmmm please tell the diary or even me about the life changing event......

OMG I dispize missing Garbage day ... drives me crazy ... ( they switched mine from Tuesday to Friday .... can't seem to remember Friday ... LOL

copy paste what I wrote below ...and add... I dont REMEMBER what it is like to not be in excruciating pain , my back an neck hurt 24/7
<<<<<<<<<< picture of me playing........I hurt soooooo much from playing the other day ... I look fine ...people think I am fine ...its a constant battle easy to start cryin an feelin bad and mad ..... life will NEVER be normal...it has been getting worse the last few years doctors dont know jack $hit


Thu 12/06/07 11:08 AM
11 years ago a full sized chevy Van drove threw the back of my Nissan , luckily it stopped at my head ...... BUT my body is permanently screwed , constant pain , my kids where young , (so was I) I cant play very much any more and when I do I suffer for weeks or months waiting for the pain levels an spasms to subside again ...I'm sort of used to living in pain , try to make the most of it but with the pain comes depression and bitterness sometimes ...
my activities are limited ..I cant work ....I was an active hyper mom that still liked to climb trees etc...
I was told not to but a lil over four years ago I went against their advise an had another child , ya they where right it set me back , but he is worth the struggle , he's a smart lil kid to , he knows I am weak , he already knows how to use that to his advantage..lol..lil monster...
YA ..... it TOTALLY changed my life , my mind has developed though I believe in compensation to the ol bod ...its not fair , but I have to accept it an try to enjoy some quality of life ...oh this is depressing..gonna cry , I was just gonna say a few words an duck out now I made myself all upset takes alot of strength to carry on ...no family single mom..blaaaaaa

(((((((PURPLE))))))))

Wow, nothing like a good cry first thing in the morning.... .geez pms xmas all that shet, loss.......I miss my son

apparently from what the doctors "say" I already had fybromyalgia.....but it only effected my legs before the car accident...
its taken alot of strength not to just slash, its been tempting , just end it cause it aint gonna get better , just worse...sometimes I feel bad , I cannot give my kids the quality of life I would like to present for them.. they got ripped off , the mom they knew is gone......

You are mourning the loss of you, the old you, like dragoness said. Your kids more than likely accepted the new mom and you have to let the guilt go. Guilt is the most useless emotion there is and what does it do for you in a positive manner????

Positive energy.......to the mind creates positive energy to the body.

oh I know.......
you know how ya role that snow ball to make a snow man ...an it gets bigger an bigger as it rolls along........
the snowball effect.....
gotta keep goin in a positive direction and build on it...

DOMO ORIGOTO MR.ROBOTO........

YEah Purple .... what Gypsy said ... keep the good times ROLLIN forward girl .. hang in there .. :)

<-------throws a snowball at tallones head and misses!!!

<<<<<<<throws mr Roboto....

Dear diary........Ive noticed ALOT of men on my man counter are asians from the san francisco area.......I wonder if they think Im a guy or just a damn ugly woman???

No wonder I dont get any dates.... DAMMIT!!!

Hmmmmmm havent done any xmas shopping yet.....geeeeeez do I have to get dressed and do my hair? blah I dont feel like it but I prolly will... Maybe after my tea.....

WTF ???? something just freakin FLEW past my head ... sounded like a song ... from the 70's ...

DOMO ORIGOTO MR.ROBOTO........

Domo Aragoto!!