plus two you end up with chesticles .. so you can skip the gym workout

that's your view... faces are so expressive, the key to the person.

I think there would definitely be a lot of giggling

Jaysis, are you setting up your brother with SS?

sure beach ...he is allowed to be picky but as his sister .. I am a little disappointed in his comment .

Maybe you should have told him to look in the mirror. Ask him if he thinks he has aged?

a look .. a smile .. no words necessary

would that be so bad lars

I've observed a few things along these lines, by observing myself, as I have gone from a twenty-year marriage, to the long search for a mate again.

One of the first things I noticed, was that after my marriage collapsed completely, and I went back into my mental "how to date and mate" files in my head, that all the mental pictures I had of potential mates, were twenty years younger than I was. I had to discipline myself to update those files, before I had a shot of finding anyone on my age range attractive (and no, I have no interest in the insane idea of looking for a thirty-year old woman who wants a daddy figure in her life).

That part's not about SETTLING at all. I'm with you on the "get real" part of this. Maybe he's still stuck with HIS old "files."

One thing that I and a lot of other people I've observed, do have to deal with in the search for a later-in-life mate, is that we have a history ourselves. An emotional history. And especially after a long marriage, the one thing that we've been doing for YEARS UPON YEARS, has been to "accept the limitations of love and desire" that we have available to us from our now-ex. And that's why we have a VERY strong negative reaction to someone counselling us that we need to "be realistic," and YET AGAIN, accept someone as a NEW mate, who is just as "defective" as the one who we spent all those years, trustingly "accepting."

That's the main thing I've found myself struggling to sort out. I know I can't ask for perfection, but I spent over twenty YEARS trustingly going along with "accepting shortcomings" as a strategy to make a marriage work, and that proved to have zero payoff.

If you suggested anything to your brother, you could try pointing out that he doesn't have to accept the SAME things he tried to get along with in the past relationships, but he's going to have to accept SOMETHING.

It might be good for one, it might be bad for the other

would be pointless .. he doesn't look his age at all . .. runs in the family

am I supposed to guess which one ., laughing .. sceptical is gorgeous and sweet .. my brother is delicious

Frank, I went through the same thing. When I would be judging someone too hard. I would go look in the mirror. It's nice hearing that a man updated his files. Most men just say women want older men. Which is true until around 40. That's when most begin to show their age.

as always your words are very wise Igor .. it is difficult getting back into dating and I know what he is struggling with .. this wasn't so much about him , as I am sure others have encountered this experience , but rather why when we age is youthfulness and looking younger still so much a part of attraction

I don't know your brother, am not into fancying guys anyway. But Sceptical is ... ah well ... I can only agree with what you said

then I do not understand your statement ... it might be bad for one ...you forgot a third option. .. it might be good for both

Let's put it this way, there is always winners and losers, in all aspects of life. But I don't wanna go into detail for personal reasons.

are you trying to tell me that you are the winner .. that you already have scepticsls heart

Blondey, I think your brother isn't being unrealistic. Most of us know how the law of attraction works.

Either we are, or we're not. In that case, it was a not.

and I do accept that Scoob.. it just made me think about the pressure associated with being attractive .