When I was in Singapore I met my love. I fell in love with a married Punjabi man and i am virgin. My family hate Indian and thinking he doesn’t fit their standards, even I hided my family that he’s married. We loved each other so much. A deeply true love. But it’s long distance relationship. And it’s long way for him to get the divorce also he has so much more responsibilities at his home. I feel dispersed and despressed. My mom gets sick because of my love life. She is worried for me so much. I try so hard to keep calm and pretending that I only like him and I love my alone life in front of my mom’s face. I distract her. But things don’t work well. She still keeps telling a lot of things about how bad is Indian, India and hard life there.... I feel so tired sometimes. And it’s so sad. I cried a lot every night. My love he knows what’s going on, makes me calm and he told me waiting for him, he will marry me after about a year, when he finally become single. People told me leave him to find someone else definitely better, or don’t break his family. But they’ve been not living together for a while and they hate each other. He asked me visit his home to check on this June. Should I go?

No.

The hate Indians part, I would say ignore them. But he is married! That is a hell no

You’re saying...You’ve fallen for a married man and want to go visit him to see if he’s being honest about no longer living with his wife?

I’m hearing...You’ve fallen for a faithless man and want to go shack up with him until he does the same to you.

Well said SweetPhi

If he has done it once, he will do it again...stay away!

Don't go to him! Leave him alone he's married.

Maybe he is not telling you all Truths. Theire is two sides to his story and you really don't know his wife's side.

Should I walk by a mental cabinet that says, "WARNING FLAMMABLE VAPORS" and light a smoke?

There's lots of fish out there. Throw this one back. You can do better.
or in other words.. No, do not go.

Wow.

There is A LOT of concerns wrapped up in this situation.

After some thought, I'm going to point out what I think might be the most useful thing for you to think about or investigate, in order to come to a good decision about what to do with all the OTHER challenges you face.

I'm going, for the moment, to assume that everything you have said, and everything you have been told, is completely factually true. That he loves you, or really believes he does, that he is leaving his wife, and getting a divorce, and so on.

Here's the thing. What you don't, and CAN'T know right now, is what his real emotions about you and about himself will be, after the divorce actually happens. I can tell you for absolute certain, that they DO change, every time.

In addition, it is VERY common for someone who is under emotional stress, and suffering in a marriage that isn't working, to feel absolutely that they are head over heals in love with someone new to them, because the RELIEF they feel when they are with someone else, away from their stress-inducing spouse, seems just like real love.

This is the REAL reason why it's never wise to get emotionally committed to someone who is only JUST beginning a legal separation from someone else. It isn't because they are inherently bad people, it isn't because they are bound to run back to their spouse, and it certainly isn't because they are liars. It's because they don't know what they really feel, about anyone yet.

Wait for him to effect the actual divorce. HE wont be able to know the truth about himself, at least until after that.

No point in upending your relationship with the rest of your family, and the rest of your life, at this time.

I agree 100%! This guy's a scumbag for stringing you along, if you're gonna see him at all it should only be after he proves he's divorced! Tell him you'll go see him if when he's divorced not before!

I believe that generally when people love other people, they want the best for them. That means not putting them on 'hold' for their own convenience. I would say let him go. If AFTER HE CAN PROVE HE IS DIVORCED, you happen to cross paths again, start over and see what happens.

I generally think if you dont know whether he is lying and cheating regarding having left his wife (but not legally divorced), keep in mind that whatever the situation is with his wife, you could be in her shoes someday just as easily.