to me real love is finding the right person to love without expectations, or unspoken rules. I want to make the person I fall in love with happy and full of excitement. I dream about my future girl or wife.

Hold the dream, she's out there somewhere

That's not really possible unless you want someone with severe brain damage.

When you go on a date do you expect they might try to kill you?
Do you expect them to show up? Do you expect them to not have an agenda of verbally bashing you and your traits?
Is there an unspoken rule of no forced physical contact?

There are all sorts of expectations and unspoken rules.


There you go. You're already building expectations and unspoken rules.
What happens if they have a day where no matter what you do they aren't happy with you or what you're trying to do? Not excited about something you think they should be excited about?