Just asking for this community-input.

The all too common scenario of rich older man with young babe has presented for a long time. With reactions all too common.

But what of an older woman, who has a young heart/look still, (not rich) and a younger man shows serious interest?

Not that this question or answer may even matter to them...

Anyone remember that song with lyrics..

-Young girl get out of my mind-

But I am not inquiring about ages below 20 even. Still....what is y'alls opinion about an older women with a younger man....who both feel love. Is it still tabu? Cougar judged?

anything out of the norm of male and female in committed relationship is a 'tabu' somewhere with some people.

For me, because of my personal values of having a similar emotional maturity, I find it unappealing, for me.

Unfortunately so many older woman want younger men , it's often perceived the other way .
At the end of the day everyone of us is an individual despite their age , their looks , brains are well in tact but unfortunately people just look at the digit's and not the person .

I totally respect anyone I make contact with and that's how it should be , in all honesty looks are important that you like the look of someone but it's not the be all because personality is equally important .

Women are as judgemental about someone's look's as men and their expectations are not in line with what's available as with men .
Everyone one here comes looking for something different to the next person and it's down to respecting them as an individual.

Anyway I hope I've added something from my perspective .

Emotional maturity though, happens at various ages due to one's experience.

For example, I can meet a man for the first time; a man on a blind internet type date- around my age. All he talks about is stuff he thinks will impress me, like financial crap.

To me, he has the emotional status and insecurity of a 5 yr old talking about how many pennies he collected.

I'm nearly convinced wisdom is not at all age-oriented as much as it is experience-orientated.

And older ones *should have wisdom just by virtue of their years on this planet.

Yet, I am now finding such wisdom-a peace & love desire, in some younger ones, due to their rather harsh experiences with other than that.

It's a strange thing....somehow my generation failed, though we all had the best of intentions.

And sometimes, a younger one looks up to us.....like we did, back then, for an answer. For love, even.

Maybe I have said too much. Maybe I haven't said enough.

Ok I will be totally honest here. This post and thought started due to a younger man ...who is obviously enamoured with me-- I think, due to my sharing me being a 60's-70's hippie. Free love and all that.

I am somewhat of the same mind set but not like back then.

YET

He has suffered greatly...tortured even, by his own gvt before he came to the US

Then he meets someone like me...daily.

He never knew freedom till US

So I think he just loves the thought of freedom in general. I was prob the worst and yet best example of it...

Our country has many refugees.

Hi MellisaSue , I enjoyed your share , very similar mindset . thanks

In general, with any large difference between two people (age is just one possible element), onlookers can worry logically, that one or both people may be after the other one for the wrong reasons.

And often, what we worry about is NOT that one or both people have bad intent, at all. Rather we worry that they are themselves mistaken about their motives, and that these mistakes will result in their having a very painful time as a result.

On the most obvious level, we worry that an older male who is after a much younger female, is either himself preying on an innocent and ignorant young girl for nothing more than personal pleasure, and that he will use and abuse the girl, and she will suffer accordingly; or that the older male is the victim, and the young girl is after his wealth or property, and that he will suffer accordingly.

The same basic worries are there with an older woman going after a much younger man. That perhaps the woman is a predator who doesn't care about the man's future, only her own pleasure; or that the man is there because he really wants to have a mother figure to care for him forever (simply creepy), or is after HER money and property.

As with many things in human existence, society does things in a GENERAL way, and doesn't treat each excursion as a separate event, simply due to the nature of human learning methods. That is, we make rules for ourselves, most of all, to save time and energy. To avoid pain and healing time, most people don't stick their fingers in a fire more than once. Similarly, if they see that large age differences cause problems often, they will logically avoid and discourage them.

That doesn't mean that it is ALWAYS going to be a problem. It's quite possible for a large age difference relationship to be good for both people, and lead to a very nice life for them. It's just rare, because there ARE so many ways that it can go wrong or be wrong.

One last concern, is the EXACT ages involved. Humans don't age and develop at a steady rate. We all go through several rather intense stages, where HUGE changes occur over very short times. Some of these stages are entirely biological, such as puberty, and menopause; others are more sociologically based, such as the transition to officially recognized adulthood, and retirement. People who try to start romances between themselves and someone who is on the other side of one of those large change stages, often go through or cause each other a great deal of difficulty, even interfering with each other's progress through their lives.

My personal point of view, is that I am intensely and aggressively opposed to older males who chase much younger girls under the age of say, twenty five, because I have never seen one who was himself mature, and a genuinely loving person. They have all been self-centered horror stories. I am also very opposed to what we've seen in the news several times recently, where older women victimize underage boys who are placed in their care (teachers going after students).

Beyond that, it just becomes important for both people to thoroughly know themselves, and for them to appreciate what additional concerns they will have to accept and deal with as a part of the age difference. Obvious things, such as that one is much more likely to die long before the other, of course. But also the slightly more subtle problems that can occur because one will retire long before the other, and have a large shift in emotional needs because of that.

Bottom line, I support real loving relationships of any kind. Age matches don't cause relationships to be a good idea, lots of very VERY bad matches occur between people who are statistically perfect for each other, as we all know. Age mismatches increase potential problems, but can be just fine, provided those concerns are addressed and recognized by everyone involved.

People are going to judge no matter what..age color opinions looks..who cares what people think ..hold your ground for what you believe,it's not their life it's yours.Take it with a grain of salt ..and do what makes you happy..

The age and interracial thing has been done to death

The age thing is a big to me. But if you are ok with it, so what? If the 2 people are ok with it, it is no one's business

There is aready a Topic on this recently!!

Dreadful?????? for who ??
Only to the many judgemental among the onlookers who really should be minding their own business instead of other peoples.
And i do not state that lightly either, because i am one of those who has dated 40yes younger than me to 30yrs older.

Only motive was ALWAYS for fun, no gold digging, not for prey, no financial gain and certainly no pain!!!

Two people of ANY age can and do get great pleasure just by being in someones company whom they feel comfortable and content with.
Age, should NEVER be, or seen as a barrier

I don't care what most people do, who they decide to date or not, how old they are... couldn't care less, as long as there are no downsides for me personally.
I've learned to stay out of people’s business and I like when they stay out of my business.
Taboo? Nowadays? Ha ha

I will consider dating a younger man within my own generation. I would not want to be romantic with a man now the age of the boys I used to diaper!

hmmm...i guess that horse isn't dead yet, so the beatings will continue...

I am so sick of men old enough to be my father contacting me! I'm not dead yet!!! There is zero attraction and of course I know nothing about their generation and really don't care to. Don't want to be changing diapers either...like my aunt did! NOOOOOOOO!

I do recall the comments made by a 70+ guy who married his 25 year old lady, when questioned " what about the sex ?", he replied " if she dies, she dies" !