As the past few years have passed, I have seen myself become more of a recluse. Friends have been deminishing, dating has been lessening exponentionally. I work and work and work only to come home to movies, music, my guitar and my dog. In my free time I often go out, looking for things to do, to pass by my boredom but often end up at a car show, wal-mart looking for a new movie or the theaters. Its not that I don't want to meet people, to meet women but the actual "doing" is where I fall short. I want I want I want to date, to live, to love, to befriend but I seem to get almost paranoid when the time comes up to actually go out and do. Maybe the problem is a dreadful past relationship. Perhaps I am scared of puplic settings, that could explain alot. I am a great people person, I would think. I am funny, I speak well and have an intelligent way about me. I am respectful and courteous. Where would you say I fall short on this topic? What pointers could you suggest to help me get out there and meet people, meet women, have fun, a laugh. Any suggestions at all?

I like to suggest u just work on your instinct, I mean do what your hearts wants to do.U know what i mean like when u go to walmart crack some good joke to old lady / or sales person or may try something different called crazy things like sing a whole song to unknow person and u will see great fun came up within inside and that makes u happy as well as others, try it out Do something which has never done or even thought in your life

Believe me, you're not alone in this matter.

What advice I can give has worked for me. You literally have to get out of the rut. Go somewhere different. Hang with an old friend you have not seen in a long time. Ask someone at work you don't know that well to go out for a coffee or sports bar.

Most importantly just remember that the fear of reaching out will only subside if you make it.

I try to tell myself, that if I don't care what people think, or if a women finds out that I'm crushing on her. Then it becomes easier for me to go out and do it and become that extrovert.

Be yourself and make whoever it is like you or love you on your own terms. Just don't over do it.

Good luck bro!

On topics such as religion, or government my "guts" are limitless. On making a public jackass of myself I have none. lol It may be funny but I am the conservative type and I would get imbarassed to do something like that.

You need to get out there and be seen... I'm not just saying bars either, do things you enjoy that if you met a woman there, you know you would at least have one thing in common.
I will never understand why decent guys are so terrified of women.
I mean if you try to talk to a woman, that you don't know, and she rejects you... SO WHAT?? What does it matter?? She is a stranger and it doesn't matter what she thinks anyway?
But you will never know until you try.
Do shut yourself off from the outside world when you have great things to bring into it.

Well what the one guy said makes sense about just getting out there, but I would pass on the silly jokes and other stuff. I've heard it works on some women, but personally, I would see it as a turn off. Just be yourself. Just say hi to people, maybe compliment a girl on her hair or something. But I wouldn't try to be someone I'm not if I were you. You seem like a nice person, I'm sure you will find what you want. Good luck.

I feel exactly the same way as you do but it gets harder the longer you cut yourself off from people. Living like a hermit isn't really living. I found when I finally did decide to learn to socialize, I had to force myself to do it. It felt very strange and uncomfortable at first, and I literally would sit in the truck outside the bar arguing with myself for an hour!! "Just go in!" ..."What if no one talks to me?"..."You're not talking to anyone sitting at home alone, can't be worse?" ... "What if they don't like me?"..."Not everyone will, but someone might." I enjoy shooting pool so I would finally take my quaking a** in and put my quarters up, have a drink, and sit back and relax. It didn't take long to learn to strike up a conversation with people. Opportunities will come your way, and you sure won't find her at home alone.

So my advice...find something you enjoy...and just get out there and interact with people that enjoy those things as well. It gets easier the more you do it! Hope this helps a little.

It's very understandable. Although I talk to strangers quite a bit, when I'm out and about, you'd never, ever see me asking a guy for his phone number. Sometimes we are just shy, that's all, and it takes someone who understands that to bring us out of our shell. The best part, with strangers, is that there are no expections, so even the most nervous person can relax. For some reason, strangers not only used to talk to me in MI, but they also talk to me in OH.

Right. I am wonderful with people whom I have no friendship or dating interest in. Throw me in a situation where there is a woman I am or may be interested in and I draw a blank.