I just want her to want my touch

Our relationship is amazing on the friend level, sex is good but she never wants it. I have to kinda push it.

push it/pull back....push it/pull back....push it/pull back

keep repeating this action for as long as you can,
while gradually gaining speed..

she'll come around...sooner than you think

Your right. She has gotten better over the past 7 months, as in she needed a wall broken down just to touch my arm but it's been slow. I guess I just need to be patient. She's been abused in the past so it's def fragile. Thanks again I needed to hear that <3

This makes a lot of sense seeing as to how your situation is at the moment.

She'll turn around at some point but you have to make sure that you make her feel safe and whatnot. She probably wants to be intimate with you but is just afraid to because at this point in the relationship she (subconsciously) might not trust you like that just yet.

I don't know her but for the sake of optimism I'm going to say that she's probably very sweet and she just needs time.

I would also suggest that you might want to not ask about sex until she comes to YOU for it, if she doesn't want to hug you at her own discretion then what makes you think that she wants to be THAT intimate with you? Start slow and go from there.

I have been around longer than most of you young guys....so take notes! A woman, with emphasis on the "average woman" >appreciates< that her man has a special caring, loving and affectionate understanding OF HER in a relationship. Treat them like the special people they are. ESPECIALLY if they have had a troubled past! The thing is, MOST guys are not capable of having the emotions necessary to truly feel or emote such desired qualities. Most guys are suppose to be tough, macho, and manly. Dropping that facade for a woman is something most guys will not allow themselves to do. And in some cases, you really should not even attempt to do it. BUT in special cases, where you truly love a woman with every feeling within you; then you should make exceptions, to make your woman as happy as possible that she has chosen you to be her man!

Wise Advice



This is a stereotypical movie-style description of men.
While some guys use it as a model for their behavior many do not.

Men, like women are unique and act according to their nature.

I see your issue with this mictea.
Her intimacy level does not match your current desires.
If you feel she is willing in a way but unsure of herself
you might try reading up on Kama Sutra and Tantric Love Making.

The Kama Sutra is more than just sexual positions.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kama_Sutra



Tantric sexuality is not something that turns on and off like arousal. It is a method of sincerity that often leads to passionate love making and causes lasting desires after climax.

A good start is finding the right mood for the evening. There are lots of tantric music on youtube. Here is one I like.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5AVJV-9C6s
It should be barely perceptible but loud enough to set a background sound. You can even loop it.

Take her shopping. Go find the scented candle dept and ask her to pick out the 3 most sexy scents. Take note of the ones she picks and which one is her favorite - look at her expression and enthusiasm. Don't buy it. Go look at flowers, watch to see which ones she goes to first and her reaction to them. Sometimes Roses are too much. Don't buy them.
Go back to the store without her and buy the candles and flowers she liked. Keep them hidden till the 'night' you are wanting to have your 'encounter'.
Have dim lighting with at least one higher light source in the room you are beginning your moment with her. Have the candles lit and the music playing softly. Place a soft comforter with a solid color on the floor with some comfortable pillows.
Invite her to sit with you on the floor. Slowly and with lots of eye contact, talk with her. Keep your gestures slow deliberate but gentle. Acknowledge her beauty and sincerity while you talk. Share something intimate with her and gently touch her while doing so. Allow her to touch you at her own pace.
As you get closer and touching is sensual keep it going. Don't just tear into her like an elephant in musk. Use time and gentleness to allow her to respond as she wants. When the first kiss is ready, keep it slow, moist and gentle. Don't shove your tongue down her throat. Touch her face while you are kissing her. Kiss around her lips too. Pet her hair. Take a break. Watch to see if she comes back for another kiss. Let her take the kiss to a higher level.
Those flowers you bought, you know, the ones she really liked? Break apart the bouquet and place some flowers around the house where she might go. Put a few in the bathroom, one or two in the room with the floor prep but put most of them on the bed.
There is a chance she may not want you in the bedroom. She might want you right there on the floor. Let her decide. Let her lead.

Its not about having patience. Its about getting lost in each other. The sex is the result but not the goal. The goal is the close intimacy you both share with one another. It doesn't end after the sex, it fulfills. Make her feel like being that close to her is wonderful and complete.

Then, come back and let us know how well your relationship with her has become.

A very good friendship doesn't always move into becoming lovers. Maybe it's a misunderstanding. Maybe it's just platonic love.

True but the OP implied that he has already had sex with her and is looking to make it better.



Unless he raped her or coerced her into the act she must have intimate feelings for him or she would not have agreed to sex in the first place.

I know that I don't have sex with all my female friends.