A young man is about to go on his first date and is nervous aboutwhat to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The fatherreplies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. Theseare food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice creamsodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, asthe boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, andchooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like potatopancakes?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of hisfather's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. Heasks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there issilence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's adviceand asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother,would he like potato pancakes?"

Are you guys tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always

sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a

series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against

the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much

worse it could be and to quit whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well

again. I don’t want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass