Man goes into a bar with an ostrich and a cat.

The bar tender says "What would you like Sir?"

The Man Says "I'll have a pint of beer"

He looks at the ostrich and says "What will you have?"

"I'll have a pint of beer" says the ostrich.

He looks at the cat "What will you have?"

Half a pint of beer - but I'm not paying!" .

"That will be £12.65" says the bartender.

So the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly £12.65.

The next day after work the man goes into the same bar.

"What'll it be today" says the bartender

"Double whisky on the rocks" says the man

He looks at the ostrich and says "What will you have?" "I'll join you in a double whisky" says the ostrich He looks at the cat "What will you have?"

"Half a pint of beer - but I'm not paying!"

"That will be £21.95" says the bartender

So the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly £21.95.

The next day after work the man goes into the same bar.

"Excuse me" the bartender says "I was just wondering why, no matter what the price, you always have the exact change in your pocket?"

"Well" says the man "When my grandmother died she left me everything in her house and inside there was a lamp so I rubbed it and out popped a genie.

It granted me three wishes so I asked that every time I wanted to buy something I would have the exact change in my pocket"

"That's brilliant" says the bartender "You'll never ever run out of money. What else did you ask for?"

"A bird with long legs and a tight p*ssy"

Once again...funny....and yet, disturbing...

I think after each joke i see this really big guy inside a smalll box, which indeed makes the joke a little distrubing for some reason

Best I've read yet today.

an oldie but goodie, i like this one!