The ****ing Disclaimer
If you are offended by the use of bad language **** off now! Don't read all of this page and then say it annoys you.

Uses of the word ****
**** is an international word. It doesn't matter where you are in the world, everyone knows exactly what you mean when you say "**** Off".

It's the atmosphere it creates, that's why you will never read something like:

"**** off", he hinted.

Grammatical Usage
In language, "****" falls into many grammatical categories, making it one of the most versatile words in the English language.

It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John ****ed Jane) and intransitive (John and Jane ****ed). It can be an active verb (John ****ed Jane) or a passive verb (Jane was ****ed by John). Or an adverb (Jane is a ****ing bastard) and a noun (Jane is a terrific ****). It can be used as an adjective (Jane is ****ing beautiful).

Further Structures
As you can see there are few words with the versatility of "****". Besides its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations.

Greetings "How the **** are you?"
Fraud "I was ****ed by the McDonalds Drive Through."
Dismay "Oh, **** it."
Trouble "Well, I guess I'm ****ed again."
Aggression "**** you!!!"
Disgust "**** me!!!"
Confusion, Curiosity or Disbelief "What the ****....?"
Difficulty "I don't understand this ****ing thing."
Despair "****ed again."
Good Job "Congratu****inglations."
Desperation "****ity************."
Incompetence "He ****s up everything."
Disappointment "This ****ing ****er is ****ed."
Intelligence "He's a ****ing genius."
Dismissal "Why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-****-yourself?"
Displeasure "What the **** is going on?"
Lost "Where the **** are we?"
Disbelief "Unbe****inglievable!!!"
Retaliation "Up your ****ing ass!!!"
Laziness "He's just a ****-off."
Pain "**** ! that hurt."
Pleasure "Oooooooh Fuuuuuuck"
Love "Do ya **** on first dates?"
Starting a relationship "Let's **** now!"
Surprise "****ing hell what was that?"
Admiration "Nice ****ing tits!"
Stupid person "Dumb****!"
Hate "You ****!"
Condemnation "**** that ****!"
Disappointment "That's not ****ing fair."
A poker hand "A Royal ****."
Ignorant person "****stick."
Denial "I didn't ****ing do it."
Perplexity "I know **** all about it."
Apathy "Who gives a ****" or "I don't give a ****".
Confusion "What the **** just happened?"
Resignation "Oh **** it."
Suspicion "Who the **** are you?"
Panic "Let's get the **** out of here!"
Directions "**** off."
Sex "Let's ****."
Maternal "Mother****er."
Incestuous "Mother****er."
Ambiguity "I'm not so ****ing sure."
Agreement "Abso****inglutely."
Questioning Authority "Who the **** do you think you are?"
Hypocrisy "Don't you dare ****ing swear at me you ****ing ****er."
Praising the Lord "Jesus ****ing Christ."
I have a headache "Go **** yourself."
Refusal "Oh you can **** right off."
Pissed off "**** the ****ing ****ers!"
Be quiet "Shut the **** up."
You're right "****ing oath." (Australianism)
Ostentation "He's just bought a big, ****-off Mercedes."
Sensuousness "She was wearing a pair of red leather, ****-me boots."
Confidence "****in' A."
Rage "Mother****ing ****ers!"
Impressed "That was ****ing amazing."
Oral sex after 30 years of marriage "**** you!" (while passing each other in the hall)
Bewilderment or Ignorance "****ed if I know."
Enraged "I'm gonna **** you up!"
Annoyance "**** off, ****er."
Annoyance "For ****'s sake."
Pissed off "**** you, you ****ing ****."
Tardiness "It's ten-****ing-thirty already?"
Broken down motorcycle "Sir, the ****ing ****er has ****ed up on me.
Professional appraisal of mechanical failure "It's ****ed."
Calling someone "Oy, **** face!"
Minors "****lings."
Morons "****tards."
Thanks "**** you very much."

Useful Acronymns
These may come in handy when space is at a premium.

DILLIGAF Does It Look Like I Give A ****
FA **** All
FFS For ****'s Sake
FIIK ****ed If I Know
FUBAR ****ed Up Beyond All Recognition
GAGF Go And Get ****ed
GFY Go **** Yourself
GTFO Get The **** Out
HMFIC Head Mother ****er In Charge
LMFAO Laughed My ****ing Ass Off
MILF Mum (Mom) I'd Like To ****
NFI No ****ing Idea
NMFP Not My ****ing Problem
RTFM Read The ****ing Manual
WTF What The ****

Sweet FA also deserves a special mention (Sweet **** All), meaning "nothing". Another abbreviation is F'ed in the A for (****ed in the Ass), presumably meaning "taken advantage of" rather than literally shagged in the poophole.

Famous historical quotes
Never forget the words of these famous people.

General Custer Where did all them ****ing Indians come from?
Mayor of Hiroshima "What the **** was that?"
Captain of the Titanic "Where's all the ****ing water coming from?"
Michelangelo "You want me to paint what on the ****ing ceiling?"
Einstein "Any ****er could understand that."
Sean Penn "**** **** **** **** **** ****"
John Lennon "Is that a real ****ing gun?"
Donald Campbell "The ****ing throttle is stuck."
Anne Boleyn "Heads are going to ****ing roll."
Richard Nixon "Who's going to ****ing know?"
Niki Lauda "I thought I could ****ing smell petrol."
Mark Thatcher "What ****ing map?"
Picasso "It does ****ing look like her."
Christopher Columbus "Where the **** are we?"
Michael Jackson "It's a ****ing skin condition"
and more recently "I told you I didn't ****ing **** him!"
Pythagoras "How the **** did you work that one out?"
Walt Disney "**** a duck."
Joan of Arc "I don't suppose it will ****ing rain."
George Bush "Fcuk! I can't spell."
Miss Marples "I haven't got a ****ing clue."
Noah "Scattered showers, my ****ing arse."
Donald Trump "You're ****ing fired!"
Judge Judy "Shut the **** up!"
Paris Hilton "**** me."
Ronald Regan to the Pope "Yes it does ****ing hurt."
Harold, Battle of Hastings 1066 "Watch him he'll have some ****er's eye out"
John F Kennedy "Who needs that ****ing bubble top?"
John F Kennedy "I need this parade like I need a ****ing hole in the head."
John F Kennedy Jr. "What's wrong with this ****ing altimeter?"
Bill Clinton "I should have ****ed her."
Bill Clinton "I didn't ****ing inhale!"
Hurricane Katrina "Mardi ****in Gras this mother****ers."
Leonardo da Vinci "Call that a ****ing smile?"
Sir Walter Raleigh "That's another good cloak ****ed!"
William Tell "Keep ****ing Still."

Some readers have pointed out that there are also some real famous **** quotes from historical figures, such as General George Patton who among other things is noted to have said:

"I don't give a **** for a man who's not always on his toes."
"The bilious bastards who write that kind of stuff for the Saturday Evening Post don't know any more about real fighting under fire than they know about ****ing!"
"We're going to murder those lousy Hun **** suckers by the bushel-****ing-basket."

Australia's Kerry Packer (for a time Australia's richest man; died late 2005) was also very fond of the word "****". Perhaps his best remembered quote followed the first time he died in 1990, after suffering a heart attack and being clinically dead for some eight minutes before being revived. When asked if he saw a light at the end of a tunnel he said: "Son, there's ****ing nothing there."

Australia's former Prime Minister Malcolm Fraser is believed to have said "Life wasn't meant to be ****ing easy".

Mark Latham, another Australian politician had this to say about Prime Minister John Howard's trip to the U.S.A.: "Howard is an arse-licker. He went over there, kissed some bums, and got patted on the ****ing head."

Conclusion
The mind boggles at the many creative uses of the word. If by any chance you think I've missed any, please ****ing let me know.

How can anyone be offended when you say "****"?

Use it frequently in your daily speech, you will be proud and it will add to your ****ing prestige and stature.

It was so f***ing long, I f***ing fell asleep halfway through reading this f***ing novel............

I AGREE WITH LILY38....WTF

did yall read the disclaimer...except lilly...i like her post every time....

**** YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

go obscure