been talking to a guy since high school and can never get a relationship to work. am i just punishing myself putting up with his i like you but dont want to be with you just yet attitude. how do i finally get this person out my life and feel ok about it.

i want a relasionship with u

Knowthat any ultimatum you present could result in the end of the relationship and possibly of the friendship.
Be honest tell him how you feel. Let him know that you've given him the opportunity but it's time to move on.

Go out and live your life. Have fun. Hang out with friends. Focus on your studies.
You're young and attractive.
When it's meant to be you'll find the one who wants to make it work.

You said since high school so I'll assume your still under 20.

# 1 . Guys that age have an egos. ( see how many girls I can choose from)

# 2 . Just can't get what " companionship " has to offer.

no actually i am older and that goes to show how long i been going back and forth

Oh for Gods' sake. You've been chasing this guy since high school and you still haven't gotten the hint yet?

He doesn't want to be with you.

Move on with your life.

I was in this type of situation from the man's point of view once.
I was 22, my girlfriend wanted us to get serious and have a life together.
I baulked at the idea within myself because I was not ready to settle down.
I was enjoying my carefree lifestyle.

Two girlfriends later, at 25 years old, I did settle down.
I put away the need to party and live it up. I stopped spending my money like it was water. I wanted to start a family and have a home.

I stopped going to bars, started spending more time at the apt with her.
We got married and stayed fairly happily married for around 23 years, then, she went wild and that was the end at 25 years.

There is a possibility that your man is not thinking about committing to you because of his own desire for adventure. It may have nothing to do with you.
He just isn't ready for commitment.

If you are looking for commitment, you need to find someone that expresses his commitment within your specifications. Take it slow, young adults have a desire for adventure and care-free lifestyles. When you do find the one that matches your desires talk with him honestly and accept his responses. If he is ready he will make the choice.

how does it feel waiting around for him to make up his mind?
do you like feeling this way?
would you like to feel this way next year?

if you do not like the way your life is going?
make different choices

TMommy, these are great questions to ask oneself.

D33best...dreamerana is right and the questions TMommy gave you to ask yourself are worth answering.

I spent four years going back and forth because like Tom said, the guy wasn't ready to commit, kept changing his mind and wanted to go back to the easy way of how things were when we just dated. I was foolish for hanging on for so long, but he kept asking me to hang in there for that magic moment for him to "fall in love" with me.

I asked myself similar questions and saw myself ten years down the road being miserable if I didn't walk away. I cut off all contact! It was hard, painstaking, lonely....but in the end, it was the best gift I gave to myself.

Best Wishes to you!

Accept the things you cannot change
Have the courage to change the things you can
The wisdom to know the difference.

Serenity.

My advice to you is to just tell him straight up that you are not gonna keep waiting for him. You must let him know your true value because he obviously doesn't see it. Guys like haven't matured enough to understand to appreciate when someone else has a lot of care for them. Your just going to have to completely shut him out of your life to get over him can't have any contact at all until you find yourself and realize your value. Best of luck hope this

When someone shows you who they are ,, believe them (Maya Angelou)

if he is not READY, there is nothing anyone can do,

he is worth waiting for or he isn't and only you can determine that

for me, if he only 'liked' me I would put that relationship in the friend zone and continue with my life,, maybe when he is READY , I will still be available but maybe not

and I would tell him so

Find someone who reciprocated mutual interest in your relationship. Life is going on. If he doesn't today he probably won't tomorrow.
He's not wild about you. That's a sign for potential heart break.

after 8 years of waiting for my ex bf to legally cut off his ties i have realized that was more than enough time already to move on with the next chapter of my life. moral of the story dont be like me lol

It's all entirely up to you to make up your mind to move on.
You already know that it is not working and you are looking for a right reason to live him and feel guiltless....girlfriend there only one thing you need to tell yourself, which is neither of you are ready to settle down so you are not only wasting your time but also his, because like it or not he sees it from this way.
You should be thinking of how to add value to your life through furthering your career and being a significant part of the society, because my dear, your destiny is not wrap around one guy or even marriage, you are born for a purpose so wake up and fulfill it.
See you at the top

Very true,don't push yourself to him because he seems to be having doubts about you or he's only interested in a friendship side since you know his weaknesses as a friend.He knows you too well and it's hard dating someone who knows you that much.It might happen that the guy wants to keep your relationship and is avoiding heartbreaks as well as the hatred that could arise after the relationship.Or maybe he's into you but scared to tell you since it's been a long time for you guys as friends,Questions like,Why now?What about the girl you dating?Unnecessary answers like I know you did this to so and so and now you're doing the same with me,could block both your ways.I think you both too presumptuous and that creates scepticism to you both.Would it succeed?If it fails are we still gonna be friends or enemies?