Yes.. so tricky circumnavigating the online dating world...

Some people you can ask questions to get more information from them..

Common ones are.. what's your favorite food favorite movie..
If you could touch The Color Purple what would it feel like..
If you found a big bag of money with a name and address on it would you keep it or give it back..


These few questions that I ask..women.. when I first start talking to them
Can give you a whole lot of insight into who they are...
Some women are more than happy to answer the questions.. they understand the purpose..

But the questions I find help me to determine if we're going to be a match.
Perfect example..
I asked one lady the above questions..
She answered all of them.. favorite food .. spicy Rice Bowl favorite animal.. horse ..she said she would give back the money.... and by the way I believe in the losers Keepers rule but I would have to throw the bag away or my conscience would get the better of me LOL..
But when I came to the color purple question...
She became agitated..she...ohh.. I don't like the color purple I don't know why!! ever since I was a child I hated it.. but if it was the color yellow it would feel like touching a daisy..

Me...Well.. those are all very good answers to the questions.. I said to her..
But I noticed on the color question you altered the question.. basically you did not answer the original question... now! if she would have said I hate The Color Purple so I think it would be like grabbing onto a handful of cactuses... that would have been a appropriate response...
But by her avoiding the question altogether and alternating it..
Made me realize, this person is going to have a hard time answering any questions she's not comfortable with..
She will use classic avoidance techniques and deflective techniques..
Throughout the relationship with me..

So with that one little question I was able to determine that her and I would not be a match


But I've met some women if you ask these questions they get frustrated..
They feel as though they are being interviewed for a job somehow...
And give me.... the whole right away aren't we going to meet????(( like today))??And they get upset..

I'm like oh my God... I haven't even spent five minutes texting you..
Right now you're a complete stranger I'm not about to go across town to meet you.. maybe if you answer the questions I can start to get to know you and you me..... but nope that's when I decided to end it completely with them..

Giving out your phone number is the same thing you need to get to know the person a little bit first... I make this mistake often give them my phone number... and then within a half an hour... I've totally lost interest..
Or they just become very Ridgid and stiff in there texting .. no sense of ha ha ..

Isn't it amazing how we all approach messaging in different ways.



Personally, I usually wait until a repertoire is established before I question preferences or morality.

Whether the message is initiated by me or by her I always read the profile.

My initial message asks things having to do with their profile or pictures. It not only shows that I am interested in them but that I did take the time to read their profiles.

In your second picture, what were you doing that made you look so happy?
I like walking on the beach too, are there many beaches near you?

Then, if she actually responds with something significant or engaging after a bit of correspondence we can get into preferences and morality.

My issue is that I get responses that are "I do...", "I want to..." or "hi". Where I take the time to read their profile and engage them with conversation they often respond with as few words as possible and are not concerned with reciprocating the engagement.

Then after I dismiss their lack of enthusiasm and move on they message me with attitude or blame. At that point they go into the block list.

One of my criteria for a possible match is that she can put her thoughts to words and have meaning. That she also initiates conversation within the message history. If I am constantly writing significant messages and get responded with yes, no, maybe it tells me they have better things to do than to get to know me. Or, it tells me that they have no will or ability to articulate complex ideas and responses.

I know I am fairly articulate. If I am constantly having to reword or explain what I say it is another indication she is not right for me.

When the conversations flow freely and with significance it indicates that she may be of interest. Since I am still looking, I haven't actually found that yet.

Lol.. yes the question come after a little while not right at the start LOL.

Got to get them warmed up to the questions..lol.. but I find to do it sooner than later helps eliminate..
The good apples from the bad apples..
Soo to speak.....
I don't ask the questions for everyone just the women I'm not sure about...

I would for once LOVE to have a chat with a little dignity, maturity, and decorum!!!

Ya Bunch of Poo Poo Heads

Nah, nah, na, nah, nah
I know you are but what am I?

I'm rubber and you're glue
Everything you say bounces off me an sticks to you!

Pppbbbllllhhh!

good one,,

Sounds good to me

If you havent tried it before,maybe you could try emailing regulars from the forum MsH.

I tried that a year ago and now I have a handful of people both men and women.that I consider to be awesome friends.

I ended up meeting a few by skype or whatsapp after 6 -10 months of mingle emails , and we are still friends a year later.

Ofcourse not all interactions will be ongoing . Some will fall by the wayside if the interest begins to wane on either side, but the handful that remained have been truly worthwhile for me.

Consider giving it a shot. Im confident several of the regulars here would enjoy getting to know you better.

who told you my technique!

I see Charlie 1993 panned the wrong way.

I enjoy commenting in the forums and
chatting with some in mail here ...
but not ready to do anything else ...
till I feel comfortable doing so ...
email ...call me ...Skype ...
blah blah blah ...no not so fast ...
one guy I thought would be nice to talk to ...
he has his email address in his site ...
so I kinda thought he was trying to get...
work out of someone in here ...
or he is just that arrogant...
and I certainly am not looking for that ...

Big give away ...to his insight ...

I have never been a first move kind of gal,, but it is something to consider

ty Ms Peggy

I don't skype, webcam, or text either. I have no reason to have a cell phone. Don't need to be in constant communication with anyone.

I do have a few "cyber penpals" that I "talk" to regularly though.

yes I can..are u ready

Until just recently I felt the same. It was only for safety sake that I started using a cell phone. Still at $30 @ mo it seems a waste of money. I now have a way to call for help if I break down on the highway.

I removed my land line because I didn't use it anymore. Perhaps it is an age thing or a wisdom thing but there is nothing that important that can't be dealt with better in person.

I've also deleted/cleared my social networking. Facebook is full of stresses I just no longer want in my life. I stopped going to NEWS sites, watching TV and listening to radio. It all just seems like drama on steroids.

I see the world around me. What I see is not really that good. Most people are oblivious to what is happening near them. Distracted by the most mundane things. The smallest thing can set them off.

Good conversation is getting harder and harder to find.