i dont think they go without the other. both cannot be bought and does not happen ovenight. it can only be earned by anyone and anybody deserving of it. being critical to another person even if you dont know them is disrespect and in my opinion very mean.if we dont have anything nice to say and the other person is not even asking for any opinion about himself as an individual, we must follow the golden rule : dont do to others what you wont have them do to you. that is called respect and therefore worthy of trust.

can i ask what do you guys think of this pls?

thanks

thanks

I agree with you all so.

But it seems today's world is a " do unto others before they do it to you."

sadly yes

I don't really agree.
I don't think respect and trust are just on/off concepts.
Either there or not.

I mean

I don't trust other drivers.
But I respect their right to share the road.

I don't trust a cousin of mine. I'd never invite him into my home without hiding the silverware.
But I respect him for how he cares for his family.
I trust he'd do anything for his family.
I don't respect a lot of decisions he's made to do so.

IMO trust comes primarily from knowledge/experience, respect comes primarily from acceptance.
You can have one without the other.

Trust is not faith.
Respect isn't dependent upon knowing.


A persons existence in public is asking for an opinion.
That's basic human nature.
People automatically determine if things are threats, boons, opportunities, or should be ignored.
And then they have to deal with the emotions and feelings those determinations engender.


That's not really the golden rule.
And neither the "biblical" golden rule or as changed here really works. Especially in a "globalizing" world.
The ultimate application of the quoted "golden rule" means you never leave the house, never venture out, and feel constantly guilty that you're existence is costing someone else something, all in the hopes no one will harm you.

IMO at best a "golden rule" people "should" follow would be something like "be mindful of how your attitude and behavior affects others, but don't be ruled by their opinions of you."

If people followed the "don't do unto others" golden rule there would never be any discipline.
"Sorry Billy, I was going to ground you for peeing on the T.V., but, well, I know I would never want to be grounded. So I'm just going to ask you pleasantly to not do it again."

"Sorry Mr. Johnson, I was going to remand you to a prison for the criminally insane for murdering your wife and that bus of nuns. But I know I'd never want to be judged crazy and put in prison. So I'm just going to tell you that you're a nice guy and let you go."

"Golden rules" only really work in small, isolated communities, with static cultures and ideologies that don't really evolve, where things are "just the way it is," already developed and accepted and don't change.

In a personal, romantic, love based, interpersonal relationship between two people I'd somewhat agree, you can't have trust without respect and still have a healthy relationship.

But in general, you can have one without the other, and there are no golden rule shortcuts that last very long in continuous interaction with different people.

Even the other golden rule "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" tends to fail in practical reality.
Some people want, what I would consider, some sick crap done to them.

I mean under "the golden rule" it's completely justified for men on dating websites to send genital photos to women.
Cuz...That's what the guys sending them want done unto them...right?

now this is what i call an opinionated man... honest and quite deep there i guess i was really referring to relationships. thanks for agreeing about it

I think lately italian pizza doesn't agree with my digestive system...must be the hot sauce, i no longer trust them

ciretom:

I hope you don't mean what I think you are saying with this. It reads as though you are blaming other people entirely, for your personal opinions about them. I find that most peoples' opinions of others, are at least half built from themselves, rather than on the other person.

Anyway. I think that Trust and Respect are very important concepts, which we don't have near enough education about when we are young, and which far too few people in positions of leadership in the world, demonstrate well.

I also think they require real work, by each individual person, to "do right." And I don't think most people realize that.