Women's English.

1 Yes= No
2 No= Yes
3 Maybe = No
4 We need = I want..
5 I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6 We need to talk = I need to complain
7 Sure go ahead = I don't want you to
8 Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9 I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron
10 Are you listening to me? = Too late you're dead
11 You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12 Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13 You're so manly = you need a shave and you sweat a lot
14 Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
15 It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
16 You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
17 I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on tv
18 How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like


Mens English

1 I am hungry = I am hungry
2 I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3 I am tired = I am tired
4 Nice dress = Nice cleavage
5 I love you = Let's have sex now
6 I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7 What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
8 May I have this dance = I'd like to have sex with you
9 Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
10 Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
11 Can I take you out to dinner = I'd like to have sex with you
12 Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
13 you look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins.
14 let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.
15 I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

oh that is the sh*t