Yes = No


No = Yes


Maybe = No


I'm sorry = You'll be sorry


We need = I want


It's your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now


Do what you want = You'll pay for this later


We need to talk = I need to complain


Sure go ahead = I don't want you to


I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron


You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot


Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs


This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house


I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper


I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep


Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive


How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate


I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV


You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me


Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]

never a truer word spoken...you got it so right there...

Oh, so true! I got a lot of the, "Are you listening?" Let just say, I have special discount at the Godiva chocolate shop by the office!

lol

Or how about ---Whatever = F*** You

I have a headache= your not gettin near me with that!!!!

@blonde

I am guilty of usein' that more than once too

I dont want to talk about it = Get back to me when you come around to MY way of thinking

lol... so true!!

Your not listening = shut the f@$# UP!!!!

Whatever= Do what you want, but you will regret it later.

I do that one ALL the time.

At whisper...that too

All true, ive heard'm all

so true

love it..

and for men---

can i rub your back----i just wanna f**k you

But we will rub your back....a little

one rub doesn't count

woman says: a little lower honey = your rubbin me the wrong way
Man says: a little lower honey = a little lower honey