Online as in solid life.

** Hello, lets do coffee, yes now ! (even a tea/juice person says, yes!)

*People like to do things now !

Oh Man!!!! I think the problem is you....(Peace)

omg Twin, I was just thinking the same thing.

Same thoughts crossed my mind. Maybe that is the reason... I said MAYBE..( I am being cautious)

and there are too many things wrong with that....lol....????

Interesting the man who says this has a photo without his head showing...hmmmm

The reason for that is I've noticed over the years that the less you can see of my face the better my chances of getting a response. Besides, I'm only here for the forum and to waste the time of scammers.

Umm if you have no luck in Australia with a USN uniform on.....then....well that's like bum in an apple orchard complaining he can't find food.....it takes just a TINY bit of effort

be yourself...if she likes that, she'll find you..

If you are as down on yourself as you sound like you are, no wonder you can't get a date. I'm not trying to attack you. But the truth, is truth. Low to no self-confidence stinks. And most women don't like being around it.

I don't get why it is so hard for people to get dates on or off Mingle. Lots of nice people to choose from. I am no spring chick but I am not setting on my plush bum all the time wishing.

No big secret to it; just look at someone dead in the eye and give them a real big smile. They smile back, invariably, and you give them some minor a compliment and immediately ask them some kind of question that takes more than two words to answer. Obviously you don't do this in a dark alley somewhere but in a public place

Chat a little and say their name; now days many of us wear the name tag for something but if you mention their name in the next sentence or so they know you like them and the ice is broken so to speak.

Then, even if it sounds lame you say something like Hey you know a nice kid who does yard work, babysit, a good mechanic, computer tech (change it up) I will give you my card (email) and email me. The card can be something simple like a photo or logo card with only your Name and email. I guarantee if they are single they are going to contact you.

If you don't get pushy about a phone then you are controlling when you talk and can be on your best behavior and use spell check.

When you get out of sight not the name and time and place and any pertinent details they told you or you noticed and when they do contact you then you have a point of reference.

Nothing is not going to happen if nobody asks and it is always a numbers game. The more you interact with people the easier it gets. Offer to shake someones hand if they give you the opening. We are a world of being alone in a crowd where intentional touch and real connect is rare but a handshake is endearing.

And just because someone asks you out on a certain night you can always offer an alternative when you have regular time to be social and if you need it pet/child/granny "care" and don't have to work. You will never have a social life if you never make time for it.

I wasn't always so negative, but after more then 15 years of failed online dating attempts (member of 17 dating site, having winked, smiled and poked more then 1000 women and non-generic messaged more then 200) I've lost faith in my ability to find a date online. Meanwhile in the real world (off line) being told by every female I've ever been attracted to that "Your such a nice guy, I don't understand why you're still single" while none of them want to be more then friends.

In short I feel my negative attitude towards finding someone is well deserved.

I suggest you honestly look within.... Sometimes we are our worst enemy!

No better than I've been doing in the last nine years, I think I'd better take all the advice I get!!!

I have to admit, I do understand where you are coming from. I've been doing it for 10 years. In one sense of the word, it's been unremarkable. I've gotten dates. I've met maybe, 4 or 5 nice women. But the great majority have been head cases of one type or the other. Weird, crazy, nutty. You name it.

Women who don't answer messages. And when they do, they can't talk. They seem to lack conversation skills. Time wasters, don't know what they want. It also seems that the women that I'm attracted to and would write, aren't attracted to me. And the women that want to write me, I don't find attractive. A lot of the women I've been out with I wasn't attracted too. I was just trying to give them a chance.

But not once have I ever got down on myself. I refuse to. It's like this. I've learned to be comfortable in my own skin. I don't believe any one man wants to be alone. But at the same time, I realize it could be that way. And I've decided to be alright with it. I'm telling you this because this is something that a lot of women will sense in you.

In other words, when a woman senses that you don't want to be alone. But at the same time, you are OK with it. You would like to do with her, but you can do without her, the more attractive you become. But when you are down on yourself, lacking confidence, they run from you. And say things like, "You are such a nice guy." Which may be true, You may be nice. But you come off down on yourself. And that will turn off most every woman you meet.

I have found over the years that it's OK to be put into the category of being a good man by the women we date. But when we are put into the category of "nice guy" by the women we date, It's dating death.

In short, that is What You Want To Be, That is the Kind of Life You Want to Live and nobody can contest on that since It Is Your Life, Not Mine, Not Theirs. If you are happy with it then good for you, if Not, then I guess you need to find your happiness. On the brighter side, I do hope and pray you'll have lots of friends who will be around when you need them, coz No Man Is An Island. Everybody Needs Somebody...

I don't.

<<<<clueless

As far as dating sites go, the great majority of women don't answer messages. Sometimes I think they are just on site for an ego trip. The reason I say that is because most men are too eager to write every woman they click on. On large dating sites, women get more messages than they can answer. This leads to a lot of them believing they are more desirable than they really are. I call it the "big head" sindrome.

They think they can pick whatever they want. And for the most part, they can. But here is the kicker. The great majority of the men that write them are looking for nothing but sex. So by the time they weed through all the crap, the decent guy that is looking for something real gets lost in the shuffle. All of this is what makes it hard for men on dating sites. Especially large ones.

hiii

PacificStar see above



As far as dating sites go, the great majority of women don't answer messages. Sometimes I think they are just on site for an ego trip. The reason I say that is because most men are too eager to write every woman they click on. On large dating sites, women get more messages than they can answer. This leads to a lot of them believing they are more desirable than they really are. I call it the "big head" sindrome.

They think they can pick whatever they want. And for the most part, they can. But here is the kicker. The great majority of the men that write them are looking for nothing but sex. So by the time they weed through all the crap, the decent guy that is looking for something real gets lost in the shuffle. All of this is what makes it hard for men on dating sites. Especially large ones.


You have a few valid points and I am sure some do get the big head syndrome from both sides. lol

And yes we get a lot of mail but most of it is "useless". Hi, I will tell you later, over the top compliments makes any kind of response but "thanks for the compliment" nearly impossible. They say men need to have the dots connected pretty close but hey at least put a few mile markers in the profile to find out if you are the direction we will enjoy traveling.

I really believe there is someone for everyone; especially on the larger sites.

I can not speak for all women but I think most of us are just looking for "normal" and few things in common. Instead of the super ego it is more likely that we are looking for someone who is looking for someone that has at least more qualifications than being "female". It is more than ok that you are mere mortal but it would be nice if your lifestyle is vaguely compatible to my own.

I can not tell you the number of pleas I have gotten for attention from guys that would go stark raving bonkers if they tried to have a relationship with me because we would have almost zero in common. They are not bad guys but not even close to a match. And hasn't just about everyone on date sites been down that road at least once?

Loosen up guys/gals writing a winning profile and finding a match is not that tough. Someone does not write a good profile then skip them and invest in the ones who make and effort. Most of the time they are not around long. I can tell you that for sure.

Start with a physical type that matches. Sucks but height matters and generally so does poundage. So if you are the typical person your odds go up but if you hide that or want to try win the lottery well your results are unlikely. Put your full length photo out there and be realistic. Nobody is really going to enjoy running to keep up but if you want a physical match you are in the running.

Second be honest about your family situation. If you are a custodial parent or a weekend family just say so. Age matches, even gender, of children are much more likely to succeed. No teenager is likely to want to be and enslaved babysitter and younger kids do not want to inherit by marriage "extra" bosses. If you have emptied the nest it is highly unlikely that you are going to want to "start all over" with the kid carousel. Do you have a dependent parent; there are more people in that boat than you think; be up front about it and team up or move on. This pretty much applies to critters too. A died in the wool mutt lover is not probably going to go for a Blue ribbon pure breed cat lover. If someone does not HAVE pets and a perfect magazine cover home that should be your first clue that the "Zoo" may or may not be truly welcome.

Most of the society is working. Don't be so uptight about gold diggers to admit you have a job and it is a big part of your life. I am not saying show your payroll or give your bosses phone number but most of us know the life style that goes with most jobs. And many of us have ones that appeal to us for a variety of reasons. And they are not always a perfect match but generally they blend for a reason.

And most of us have dietary lifestyles that after about 21 are not going to change that much until forced to. I have met maybe one person in my 60+ years that likes living with the food police so if someone is going to hound you for loving fast food or roll their eyes every time you want the healthy veggies you are going to get on each other's nerves. Start at least with the wind in the same direction.

Not really something many want to talk about hygiene is another. I am not talking about what you see on the profile shots or a date but the real deal. This is a little trickier to match from profile information but at least look at pictures and Skype before you get all moon eyed and then walk in and their place looks like one end of the spectrum of hospital sterile you could eat off the floor to hoarders anonymous. You want a life mate that you like.

So be real put that info up and spin the wheel. You might just be really surprised that your kettle has a lid waiting.