AUTO REPAIR

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely
if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away



my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

EXPOSURE

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.
A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
"Because your breast is hanging out." He says.
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!" <FONT
face=Arial size=2>
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
size=1>

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and



landed on Science & Nature. Her question was:
"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINAL EXAM

The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions.



She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then,



in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet:



Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating



it out.
During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator,



alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking



my answers."

THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR ??

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out



of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house.



A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again.



Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box,



opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
(are you ready? . this is a beauty ...)
My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

kid, ya I meant scammer.....btw I really am a 80 year old virgin monk in tijuana!!!

How do you diguise your voice so well? Is that why your throat was sore?

One more tea and mayyyyyyyyybe I will try and tackle my yard again but I really dont want to......I need a loader thing......whats it called? a cat?

I thought you already had a cat Gypsy? What's the matter won't he do your yard work for you?

I have 2 cats and noooooooooo they dont do yardwork!!! Pffffft they need to start earning their keep around here

It would help if I had a proper rake and not something that is falling apart...pffffft buying rakes is not my forte' and or fun ya know what I mean earl?

dd,

maybe mike likes you. likes you likes you.

Dear diary......Mike is still at the top of my man counter......staring at me with that smile..... it makes me nervous....what did I doooooooooooo????

whoa weird slow.....you said that right now......

slow is not so slow today!!

ya but I didnt see his post about mike and then......its like our minds were thinking the same thing.... but no I dont think mike likes me, he is married.

I know I didnt do anything but maybe I was being incriminated....

doo doo doo doo....doo doo doo doo

i toldya you'd be surprised

QUIT SUCKING OUT MY THOUGHTS SLOW!!!

dd,

I'm in. Now how much time do I have before the guard comes back!!

What's all the doo doo about?
Something smells funny.....

doo doo doo doo....doo doo doo doo....it's the twilight zone

no idea either fresh!!! And who is this guard????