Transparency, invisibility... well, many people seem to enjoy it... let's go one step ahead... aren't you sometimes feeling here just a leper...

Did you see the movie version of "Chicago"?

Your post reminds me of the song, "Mr. Cellophane"...

Lyrics:

Amos:
If someone stood up in a crowd
And raised his voice up way out loud
And waved his arm and shook his leg
You'd notice him

If someone in the movie show
Yelled "Fire in the second row
This whole place is a powder keg!"
You'd notice him

And even without clucking like a hen
Everyone gets noticed, now and then,
Unless, of course, that personage should be
Invisible, inconsequential me!

Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there...

I tell ya
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there...

Suppose you was a little cat
Residin' in a person's flat
Who fed you fish and scratched your ears?
You'd notice him

Suppose you was a woman, wed
And sleepin' in a double bed
Beside one man, for seven years
You'd notice him

A human being's made of more than air
With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there
Unless that human bein' next to you
Is unimpressive, undistinguished
You know who...

Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there...
I tell ya
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there
Never even know I'm there.

Hope I didn't take up too much of your time.

Dear BayAreaGal, your poetic contribution is BLESSED and MOST WELCOME, please go ahead take up more of my time, I've plenty for you... by the how can I get to your bay...

BTW, BayGal, my bombs are indeed haevily cellophaned...

is there any Mr Cellophane out there to share his insights... BTW, have you ever seen the presentation of Hollywood celebs before and after make-over... it's a amazing!!! One should actually watch it to get the feel of Hollywood sham...

I have a hard time comprehending the idea that someone would join a dating site and then wish to remain invisible there. And yet I have seen exactly that on every site where I've taken the time to look.

As for the "leper" thing -- I see this as a sort of two-tiered system. Level One is basic acceptance within the overall JSH community, and I don't think this is particularly difficult to accomplish. If you're here and posting in the forums and not antagonizing a huge number of people, pretty much everybody here will make an attempt to get along with you, or at least not to be rude or condescending.

I've been here 10 months and I am surprised by the level of acceptance I've achieved here. It didn't happen overnight, and I have taken some positions on site issues that a few from old "cliques" did not appreciate; but, as it stands now, I know of only three here who truly despise me, and they rarely even bother to post anymore, so that's not much of an issue either.

So, for me, the Level One thing is all about participation. Ask a question, tell a joke, write a poem, the venue is open to just about anything, subject-wise. Once people get comfortable with you, you'll notice that THEY notice. That's how it worked for me, anyway.

Level Two, which I see as more of the "dating scenario," completely eludes me and probably always will. While I am aware of some who have met, dated, and gotten serious here, the number is less than a drop in the bucket compared with the number of people on the site. Why is this? Why aren't more people hooking up here?

I don't really know, but I suspect part of it is that this is still a relatively new site, meaning the membership numbers don't match those of some of the older, more established "name" sites. Give it time; we've already seen one merger with another site, and one mass exodus from yet another site.

But for me, personally, the problem is simply that the kind of person I would like to meet, doesn't appear to be on any dating site at all. And the people who have expressed interest in me are all very very far away, eliminating any real viability for relationship potential there.

So, I suppose in terms of the original question, I would admit to feeling like something of a "dating pariah" -- the locals have no interest and will not reply to e-mails, regardless of how many clever and amusing things I post. That's the dead horse I mentioned in a thread awhile back. There is no reason for me to waste any more time or energy on them.

It took me awhile to assimilate the fact that, for me, JSH is not a dating site -- even though it refers to itself as a dating site. It may work for some people, and that's great, because that's the original underlying intent. But for those of us who are a little outside the mainstream, for those of us who need someone a little more attuned to "outside the box," I think it may be awhile before we see any of those people here. For whatever reasons, those people apparently do not sign up for dating sites.

So, I would have to say I don't exactly feel like a leper here most of the time -- because people shy away from lepers, they don't talk to them, they look the other way and try to pretend the leper doesn't exist. And I don't get any of that (except from the locals) here -- to the contrary, I have found a lot of acceptance and concern and good friends.

But I guess I am a leper on the dating side of the equation. So I will be a half leper.

It's more like, instead of leprosy, I just have a really bad cold or something. People will come over and bring chicken soup, but they won't hang around long enough to catch anything.

frankly speaking, personally I really don't mind other people's attention, but there's a point here... if dating sites aggravare people's feeling of Transparent of Noticed-but-Leper, then something's wrong...

Lex, my friend, you are unique, a truly serious philosopher... what are you doing in a dating site, if I may ask you... well, I should have asked it as regards myself...

BTW, Lex, I see in your picture that you slide sideways, half face already invisible, is this a hint that you're about to quit...

Your manifesto just underscores the basic fact that wherever humans are, the inevitable politics sizzles, even in dating sites forums !!! May I quote Nietzsche's Human, All Too Human...

What am I doing on a dating site? A fair question, and one I wish I had an answer for.

I met the "love of my life" on a dating site in 1999. Totally by accident. I was not looking to meet anyone, I was actually just trying to find a friend who had disappeared, and one of my exes suggested I try writing to people who lived near where my friend had lived before she vanished. One of the people I contacted, based on nothing more than geography and a very interesting and creative profile, turned out to be "the one."

That was all destroyed early last year, mainly because of my ex-wife and her family -- it's a long and disturbing story that we don't really need to get into now.

I moved to a town where it is literally impossible to meet anyone in person. That was a mistake (done on the advice of a friend who recommended it as the perfect place to work on a book), but I am tied into a lease at the moment.

All of the people I used to meet women through, back when they were 22, are now 32 and married and have 2.4 kids -- and all of their friends are 32 and married and have 2.4 kids. No more "fix-ups," for the most part, and the ones that they try to set me up with are inevitably the polar opposite of the kind of person I would like to meet. Sad but true.

And so, I am left with the dating sites.

I have met 9 people from dating sites, and, with the exception of the "good one" I mentioned above, they were all train wrecks of massive proportions. One was an arsonist. Another one had a job on a newspaper and wanted me to write her articles for her. Several I would prefer to say nothing at all about, except for the fact that people will eventually figure out that, if your profile picture is not really you, someone who meets you in person will probably notice that fact!

So I am left with the dating sites, and what do you know? They don't work either. So, there is this ongoing effort to come up with some sort of more realistic alternative, but apparently I'm just not smart enough to figure out what that might be yet....

As for the pic -- It's really more of an attempt to see what kinds of things I can do by manipulating an image in IrfanView and Paint, to name a couple. I've always been fascinated by colors and imagery and the whole process of taking a picture and changing it around to see what you can do with it. I don't know if it's "art" but I'm learning some things about how it all works, and learning things has always been important to me.

And, no, the half-pic doesn't mean I'm about to quit -- I actually quit awhile ago. I'm just trying to be creative at this point....

Ironically, I'm reading "Human, All-Too Human" right now. This is where I first ran across Cato's "Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam" -- in a footnote from section 436, entitled "Ceterum censeo." This is the Marion Faber translation. I think I have a Walter Kauffmann translation around here somewhere, too....

Originally, I came to this site just to hang with a friend and our other friends I met from another site. Since then, I never saw her in the forum nor interacted with her here, though I have seen her old posts here.

Anyways, in the short time I've been here, I have actually met some awesome people. I truly love the diversity of people and comments shared. I fitted in with ease, why, people made you feel welcome.

This is one of the best community I have ever came across on the internet where the program itself is easy to manoeuvre around and the the posts are instant. It feels like you are chatting with other members as we speak. We might have some lag every now and then but it is still an awesome site.

I thank my girlfriend for inviting me here even though I haven't even chatted with her here.

Hugs everyone, its a pleasure meeting you all!

i'm gonna ignore this traparent thingy--nor will i respond--

As far as I'm concerned, the personal experiences and sentiments of members, unfolded in the forum, are far more intersting than the profiles... somehow, the real self peeps out during the most neutral chats...

I hereby invoke you ShadowDog... COME OUT OF THE WHISPERING SHADOWS...

Shall I throw my holy water, KLC, on your dogs of the round table... or fetch my Excalibur...

Are you suggesting dogs can play poker?

To unfold their hidden human forms...

It could be a vampire doggy, all ya need is a garlic li