My live-in boyfriend of 9 years is leaving me. I say "leaving" because he hasn't gone yet. He is looking for a place to stay. That makes it worse than if he was gone. Knowing that he is leaving but still having him here just prolongs the agony. I don't really know what to do or how to handle this.

It's hard when they are still in the house with you and you know they intend to leave. You don't know how to act. It will get harder when his stuff disappears a little at a time. Brace yourself.

any kind of loss is not easy!!!
have to go through the stages...find someone you can talk to, cry with, etc

Move on stay tough. Been there done that. Its rough, painful and depressing. I feel for you.

I feel for you! You will some comfort here, wonderful people!

I wish you well!

Hugs for you

I couldn't stand to be in the house afterwards. Everything reminded me of her. Stayed out on the road and kicked it with freinds for 2 months.

Hi and welcome

Sorry to hear that, I know what your going thru when my ex husband was leaving it took him forever to take his crap, i told him take it or im throwing it away

Thank you for your kind words. I know it will get easier with time, but I need him to go if he is going... I am trying to be patient and understanding, but it is making me very bitter. The relationship could have been ended civilly with a chance of reconciliation but the longer he drags this out, the madder I get about it.

You're going through some rough times. Just hang in there. You'll be OK. I have a feeling he says that he is leaving, but he really isn't. He would have already left by now..But being that you've been together for nine years, I don't think he's going anywhere. He's just making you believe that to get you where he wants you.. Weak and feeling helpless. You'll see, he'll come around, just give him some time and space... and you need to give yourself that, too.

I envy you long hair....being on the road for a few months would definitely help.

My own home.

jenkua77... I am not totally sure how I feel about your comments. We have been having issues for a while, but I know that he loves me and I never thought he would leave me. He has spent the last week looking for an apartment.....he even went as far as to tell me Friday night that it was the last night he was sleeping here.

He know he is hurting me...if he decided to stay now, I am not sure I would let him. I love him, but I would feel like it was only a matter of time before he pull his crap again. It is not fair to me.......sorry...little pitty party there.

omg..i JUSt went threw this..IT WAS horrible....surround yourself with LOTSA friends..and have you funniest movies close to you!!..Im sorry...

smart move LHB, thats a great way to clear you're head. I do it when ever I can.

Thank god I live on a river. One day I took all her crap she left and threw it one piece at a time in the river. Clothes, jewelry, crap, 26 inch color tv. All my neighbors sat in lawn chairs, drank beer, and enjoyed my version of stress relief. Cheered me on.

Well, longhair, you just made me laugh....I thank you for that!

Is it possible for you to speed up the process? Could you stay with someone for a while until he moves out? You are right that prolonging the leave is agony. You can change that. I sympathize. I'm dealing with a horrible situation now so I certainly understand feeling lonesome. It's not easy, but talking about it helps. Many people are experiencing similar situations right now. You're not alone. Hang in there!!

I kinda mentioned to him today that he needed to leave. He gave me that "what am I supposed to do" look.... I don't really care what he does..as long as it is quickly.. Don't tell me you are going, take half of your stuff, and then show up at 2:30 AM like you belong here.

You RULE LHB. if there was a smiley salute it would be here: