Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to see her grandmother in the forest. Her mother warned her
"Don't walk through the forest, take the path, or else the Big Bad Wolf will catch you and suck your tits dry!"
Little Red started towards her grandmother's house but decided to take the shortcut through the forest anyway. The turtle stopped Little Red and warned her
"Turn back and use the path, because if the Big Bad Wolf finds you, he'll suck your tits dry!"
Little Red was almost there, so she kept going through the forest. Sure enough, the Big Bad Wolf jumps out of nowhere and tells her
"Take off your shirt Little Red Riding Hood - I'm gonna suck your tits dry!!".
"Oh no you don't",
yells Little Red,
as she pulls up her skirt,
"You're gonna eat me just like the story says!"

lol nice