pretty good green eyes.

i know i get some good ones once in a while u just gotta gimme time lol

i am sorry my grilfriend lefted me can you take her place

rotfl...

to the heavy gal...

Hey pull up a couple of chairs and have a seat.

This is a fun topic.

hey dabad and bill my buddy is talkin smack again join the fun in that
other one we were in before! he called me a man in a dress so i told him
im sorry i can get more pussy then him lmao even though im not a lesbian

so sorry ur lost but i can find you

lol hosstin18 your funny

FCK all I need is U

i like my ups one still lol

dabad you think afro is scared of us? he doesnt like to reply much lol

Ya wanna take a ride on my car??

you wanna take a ride on me? ha beat ya lol

what something tasty thats me
i am a fine wine want to be the taster

hey is this the army cuz you should m ewhat all you can be at ur place

i thought spicy was hot ouch women your extra spicy

Hahaha, got me. I like that line!!

Your Mama So Fat
when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...

she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!

folk exercise by jogging around her!

when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy

she make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie

NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer

she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...

small objects orbit her.

she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.

when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind Mount
Everest.

when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of
Petrol!

she could be the eighth continent.

she nearly put Safeway out of business

the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

her Uni graduation photo was an aerial

when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the
part of the big Rolling Ball.

she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.

her fave food is seconds.

her belt size is Equator.

she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid

she wears an 'X' jacket and Copters attempt to land on her

she shows up on radar.

she needs a map to find her butt.

she fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!

she wears an asteroid belt.

her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'

she has TB ... 2 bellys.

she's once, twice, three times a lady.

she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

the circus use her as a trampoline

stunt agencies use her as an air mattress

when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'

she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen

she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!

she deep fries her toothpaste.



Anything Yo's - So Fat...
Yo Grannie so damn fat, that if she was an Aeroplane, she'd be a Jumbo
Jet.

Yo Grandpa so fat that he's half Scottish, half Irish and half American

Yo Wife so fat she fell off a boat and the Captain yelled, "Land
Ahoy!!!"

Yo Priest so fat, when he bungee jumped he went straight to hell...

Yo Doctor so fat, that when her Beeper goes off folk think she's backing
up.

Yo Auntie so fat when she goes to Gap the only thing she can fit into is
the Dressing Room

Yo Bookie so fat he gotta buy clothes by the furlon

Yo Dentist so fat that when he burped he blew out all yo mamma's
teeth...that why she so ugly!

Yo Papa's so large when you climb on top of him your ears pop.

Yo Father so fat that when he sat on a Rainbow skittles fell out.

Yo Sister so fat that even Richard Simmons can't help laughing

Yo Sis so Monstrous she uses Soccer balls for earrings.

Yo Father so fat he can't even tie his own shoelaces

Yo Mama so huge that God created her...and on the seventh day rested.

Your Kid Sister so fat the Japanese Sumo Wrestling squad had to turn her
down.

Yo Star Trek fan so fat he make Riker's beer belly look 2 atoms thick

Yo Lawyer's so fat...we're inside her right now.

Yo' Baker so freakin fat he masturbates when reading cookbooks

Yo Auntie so fat that Weight Watchers threw her out for breaking the
scales.

Yo Boss so fat that when she calls a board meeting she has to pull
herself up a Sofa.

Yo Air hostess so fat that on a scale of 1 to 10 she a 747.

Your boyfriend so fat he hasn't seen his feet for 10 years

Yo Bro so fat that when he farted, Mars came out...and I ain't talkin
bout the 'sweetie'

You Nana so fat that when she went for a swim in the ocean she caused a
60 foot tidal wave.

Yo Music teacher so freakin Fat that she whistles Bass

Yo Postman so fat he got his very own Post Code

You cousin so fat she's on Both sides of the family.

Yo Girlfriend so fat I ask her to go get a Curry and she bring back 80
pounds of gravy.

Yo kid brother so fat he sat on 4 quarters and made a dollar.

Your Mom so fat she uses a bed mattress for a maxipad

Yo wife so fat she got more nooks and Crannies than a Ploughman's pastry

Yo Sister so fat she got a new job DJ'ing for the Ice Cream Van.

Yo Momma so fat all chairs in the house have their own seatbelts.

Yo Dog so fat that when you take it 'walkies' it don't know whether it
walking or rolling

Your Mommas so fat, when it says All you can eat it still ain't enough.

Yo' Astronomer so fat she plays pool with Venus....and Neptune...and
pluto...and...

No body ever used it on me!! Damn it!

NERVES MY GOOD MAN!!!!! how are you

Yo Moma So Poor
that your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.

they put her photo on food stamps.

when I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to
steal me wallet.

she waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.

burglars break into her home and leave money.

when I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had
run out.

the building society repossed her cardboard box.

she watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.

each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk's fingers

she can't even afford to go to the free clinic.

when I saw her kickin a can down the road I asked her what she was
doing....'Moving' she replied.

I caught her trying to use food stamps in the Gobstopper machine.

when I rang her doorbell, SHE said 'Ding-Dong'

I asked her where the 'facilities were' and she replied - "Pick a
corner...ANY corner..."

I visited her house, tore down the cob webs and she screamed - "Who's
tearing down the drapes!!!!"

I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said
"Sure thing, it's 4th tree on your right..."

only time she smelled Hot Food was when a rich bloke farted...

when I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost
a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."

she hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.

closest thing to a car she owns is a low-riding Shopping trolley....with
a box on it...

she had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box.

I went into her 'living room', stepped on a Fag butt and she shouted -
"Oi, who turned off the heater!"

I once threw a stone at a garbage can, and out she popped saying - "Who
knocked???"

I went through her front door and tripped over the back fence.

she does drive by shootings on the school bus.

when she asked me over to dinner I took a paper plate from the kitchen
and she groule - "Don't use the good china"

You Momma so Poor it took her 10 years to pay for a 5 dollar Crazy Prank
& Hilarious Gag set...




Anything Yo's - So Poor...
You're so poor even Beggars give you money.

Yo Grannie so damn poor she bounces food stamps.

Your Teachers so poor she can't even afford to pay attention.

Yo Priest so poor he uses cardboard and ribena as bread and wine
substitutes.

Yo Doctor so poor, he uses chewing gum as a bandaid.

You family so poor you's live in a 2-story Cracker Jack box.

Yo sister is so po...shit, she can't even afford them last 2 letters!

Yo Dentist is so poor she uses white-out/tippex as your tooth filler.

Yo' Cleaner so poor she can't afford a mop - she stands on her head in
order to mop the floor...

Yo Poppa so poor his idea of Desert was to go outside and collect the
'yellow snow'...and yo loved it, didn't ya!

You Star Wars friend so insanely poor that I walked into his house,
asked to use the bathroom, and he handed me a shovel saying: "May the
force be with you."

Yo Father so poor that when I aks him what for dinner, he take off his
shoelaces and says - Spaghetti!

Yo older sis getting so poor she's planning on getting married...just so
she can get the rice at the wedding.

Your lecturer so poor he uses his cardboard box as a blackboard.

Yo' so poor, you get more government handouts than an English farmer

Yo' best friend so poor he have to fart just to get a scent (cent).

Yo Gossiping wife so poor she can't even afford to put her two cents
into this conversation...

Yo Grannie so poor that when I asked her what's for dinner, she tried to
throw ME in the oven!

Yo' Mommy so poor I went over for dinner, saw 3 beans on the
table...took one and she said - "Don't be greedy!"

You Auntie's so poor she gotta live in a 2-story Dorritos bag...

Yo big brother so freakin poor I stepped on his old banged up skateboard
and he yelled - "Get off my F****in CAR"

Yo Computer geek friend so poor he uses a Commodore 64 to surf the web.

Your pimp so poor he just bought an imitation of a fake Rolex

Yo Reverand so poor the congregation run over animals outside the church
just to help with food...

Yo Gardener's so damn poor that when I pissed in his yard he thanked me
for watering the lawn...

Yo Mama's so damn poor, her front porch matt says 'Wel'...

You so piss poor...hold on, you don't have a pot to piss in or even a
window to throw it out of...

Yo Uncle so poor I went into his house, swatted a pesky firefly and he
screamed - "Who turned out the lights?"

Yo Nana so sickenly poor I walks into her house, asked to use the toilet
and she hand me 2 large sticks. I ask what they're for and she says:
"Use one to hold up the ceiling...use the other to fight off the
cockroaches..."

Yo half-sister so damn poor even the Republicans were willing to give
her welfare.

damn shagna ur like a book lol