What do u think?

Is the love relationship over? You need to clarify details...

It's not over .. But she wants to transform it to friendship

To me it sounds like you got dumped

Maybe.
Depends on what you think friendship is.

I mean some people believe their coworkers are friends, yet never see them, and never would, outside of the office, and if they quit or get fired the friendship is just dropped.

Some people think friendship is having a boyfriend/girlfriend just without the sex. Always together, always on each others mind, always talking and texting, no secrets, no boundaries.

Some people think friendship is just killing time with random people not having sex...unless you want to.

Some people think friendship is people with things in common that go do those things in common because they're more fun when shared.

Some people just use the label "friend" to define everyone that isn't either immediate blood related family or a romantic partner.

"Friendship" is pretty much a pointless word since it's meaning is so ambiguous as to what exactly it means in terms of a relationship.



What do you want?
What can you live with?

Can you be her bestest buddy and listen to her complain about all the new dudes she's dating and banging and possibly hearing "there's no good ones!?"

Can you handle it if her offer of friendship is just BS? Where she just wanted to avoid being judged poorly for dumping you, but really wants you to just kinda disappear? So she never tries to contact you, and every time you contact her there is this huge wall and doing stuff is always "next time?"

Can you handle it if she acts like your friend, then more than a friend, and then runs away, and then comes back to act like a friend, then push those boundaries, and then run away again?

When you were dating her and you were going out and doing things, were you actually enjoying doing the things, focused on what you were doing, or mostly focused on her? Where in reality if you were to go out and do things together you'd realize "she's so annoying and getting in my way."

Can you live with her defining the boundaries of the "friendship" and living up to her dictates?

Can you start over, completely forget your past relationship, and build an entirely new relationship with all new boundaries and expectations?


What do you want, and what do you see happening, realistically?

No, virtually impossible.
Once there is, romance, love or sex, at least one of them wants it again.

That's the case. I think u r right. But to the guy-. No. If there is one in love there won't b a friendship. it would b the use of the other, I think

Yes,I have had it happen several times.It's just a matter of ego.If someone rejects me it simply means they consider me unsuitable as a life partner.It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with either person.The qualities that attracted in the first place are still there.Doesn't always work that way of course.

The problem you have, especially at younger ages, is that most people who propose "friendship" following an attempt at a romantic relationship, actually DON'T want the friendship at all. They only propose it as a tactical maneuver, to persuade the rejected person that they should go away politely and quietly. It's sort of like a cheap "consolation prize."

Any actual friendship which follows any serious attempt at one-on-one stuff, assuming that real and deep emotions were involved, will require a LOT of intense work on both people's parts, to discipline themselves appropriately. And most people don't want to put the work in.

Now, if the people involved never GOT all that deep, and neither one really got their hopes up all that much, then yeah sure, conversion to friendship is usually pretty easy.

Ohhh.. Mon Cheri.... how do you turn your lover into your friend.. well for me I turn my friends into my lovers..
..oui.... but then when it is time to part..
That' sweet sorrow part.... they always say they will cherish my friendship...

that is right up to the point,! where they see me with another woman.. . then they become, this enraged jealous crazy person.. .
.. they can't stand the thought of me doing to another woman !what I used to do to them.. . but really I cannot blame them.. . once you have slept in heaven... .. it is hard to come back to the realities of Earth.. so pedestrian..lol...

Allow me to translate for you. She want to find something better but just in case she can't she wants to make sure she has someone to scratch her itch, should the need arise so to speak. To put it simply your her just in case booty call.

friends don't screw each other over well not a good friend i suppose I think if the relationship ended with no lies,financial abuse etc it could be possible

I need awhile for the wounds to heal and for the pain to fade.I recently, after 25 years became friends again with my first love so I guess my answer is yes.

We still love,but we are not in love.

�Que?

Maybe after about three decades but any sooner? Not likely.

It may be more strong after relationship

Actually I have to say yes...I have managed to stay friends with one of my EX's and to my knowledges we are great friends. I also have to state that time needs to be there for the hurts to heal and fade a bit.

Then I say definitely if the relationship has just wound down no cheating etc.. Just realizing that you make great friends and not so great lovers.

It's a yes for me.
My first and I are very good friends.
He is married to a beautiful woman. She has no worries about Dean and I. I always say hello to her first and spend time with her. Lol her and I gang up on Dean to give him cheek. He loves it. He did say I'm glad you two get on great.
We are one big family. When you have a daughter together it pays to.
In fact next weekend they are coming to my place to celebrate the other twos birthdays.

I have not seen my ex boyfriend for more than a decade, but I do not think I can be friends with him, even now.

It might work with other people seeing their ex,
because they have someone in common like kids & close friends,
but I do not think I had it in me to be platonic with someone
I have been intimate with, and have given everything I have and
still it did not work out.
Seeing him again, will remind me of my biggest failure.
Seeing him again, will remind me of the years I struggled just to
get him out of mind and system, because I know he deserves someone better.
It is enough for me to know that he is happy now, and that I have move on.
Friendship? Not in this lifetime.