I'm pretty upset & it's not "business as usual..."
A very close & dear friend of mine[Carole] lost her 26 yr. old daughter[Erin]last Saturday in a car accident. They were so close, Erin was an amazing young woman, such a waste...This should never have happened!
Just feeling very sad & angry & doing alot of crying because of the tragedy just breaks my heart.

Really sorry for that. We too share your tears and pray to God for her.

Amen
In agreement with syam

Sorry to read of the loss of your close friend Carole's daughter Erin.

Prayers and Condolences for Carole and her family.
Prayers for you too, to help you get this difficult time.

Many thanks for your kind responses & condolences. They say that "Time Heals". I'm not certain that all "Things" are able to be Healed by means of time or anything else. Like trying to repair a glass that breaks & splinters into a zillion irregular splinters & pieces...As being "A Fix-It" type of personality; this is a situation that is just- UnFixAble, Uncontrollable, & Inexplicable. Anyways, although I am trying to be there for Carole; I just feel that my efforts are so small, petty, & absurdly insignificant because I can't even hope to fix a situation that there is no fix-for.My own ego ******** there. *sighs*

My most heartfelt condolences for the loss of this precious, beautiful life.

I have never lost a child to death, however I have lost my soulmate of 23 years and know enough about grief.

Please continue to simply "be there" for Carole....you may think it is a small and insignificant thing, but trust me She NEEDS YOU! There IS NO "fixing" this situation, but you being there for Her is the correct and only thing to do.
Please don't ask her what you can do for her because she will probably say "nothing, i'm ok"....Just do the things you see and feel need to be done for and with her.

So sorry for her loss. And all of her loved ones.
May she R/I/P
My prayers sent for healing and comfort!

To loose anyone is so heartbreaking, yet when it is a young person it is even harder to deal with.

You question if time heals... to a point yes it does and yet there will still be moments 30 years later that will stop you dead in your tracks a memory, scent, song, you name it and you will be transported back again. I can say that it won't be as heart wrenching as right now but it will stop you and make it hard to breath.

The best thing you can do for your friend is give her permission to grieve. So many times well meaning friends try to stem the flow or tide of pain. I am one that knows that it helps to flow with it. I remember when I lost my husband the pain was mind stopping all I felt was pain. I had so many that told me what he would have wanted me to do. And strangely enough none of those people really even knew him all that well.

Just be there for you friend and hold her as she breaks.

Sending prayers to you and all involved

I lost my son last year in a shooting downtown orlando... 20 years old, just getting it together, new 18 month old son... and life just ends. It absolutely sucks every minute of every hour of every day. Its a pain that just doesnt end... we keep his facebook page alive with posts and pics, I'm sure he sees it and appreciates our love.... God only knows the whole picture..

Some things just cant be explained, but no parent should ever out live their child.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_SF4z5ohr0

This when I get down.

. . .bingo....




.....and bingo.

Time never heals, you just learn to cope with it better.
But as you learn to cope with it more you then start feeling guilty for not grieving like you used too.
Her Mum Carole will go through all kinds of emotions. She will tell you she's fine when deep down she's torn in two.
She will want you when you can't be there and she won't want you to be there when you are.
A silent prayer for you, Carole and her daughter.

That's horrible! So sorry for your loss. Was it a random act of violence, a gang shooting stray bullet, robbery etc? Hopefully they got the shooter and he will be put down or never see the light of day again!

THANK YOU ALL FOR ALL THE KIND, SUPPORTIVE, & THOUGHTFUL COMMENTS THAT HAVE BEEN ADDED ONTO THIS POST. Warmest prayers & condolences to all of those who have suffered such a grievous loss in your own lives. I've been doing a lot of reading-up on the feelings & the kind of grief that accompanies this kind of "Major Loss" in order to best help & be supportive of my dearest friend. Although I leave her messages & emails every other day;she has not responded back now for days. Everyone expresses their pain in vary different ways & I've read that Carole's lack of response is not uncommon among those experiencing such a shocking & tragic ordeal. I still hurt inside for the fact that the grief over a loss of this magnitude lasts for a lifetime...
No one deserves such a horrific experience, Most Especially- Not Someone -that you love as a sister...

Here's a picture I took of young, beautiful Ms. Erin. Another task that I wanted to create for Carole & Erin is an online Memorial Tribute site. Family & friends can share their stories, memories, & thoughts about Erin. Hopefully, maybe one day when Carole feels better; there's a place for her to keep a private journal for her own story. If anyone has a moment to take a peek at the site; I'll include the links:
~ERIN REED~ Tribute on Legacy.com
Link:[Copy & Paste] http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/Erin-Reed/homepage.aspx
*
The site might look a bit "Clumsy" even though I did my best
I've never tackled a project like this & I'm praying that that I 'll not have to repeat the task again for quite a long time.

Again, Gratitude & Big Hugs for everyone's sharing; it's very much appreciated!

My mom & dad lost two sons (car accident & suicide). I changed their cloth diapers and heated up their glass bottles - you know back in the day. Its an overwhelming sense of loss but you find a place to tuck it away; but this takes lots of time. I can't even imagine what my parents true state of mind is to this day. They still don't like to talk of it. They just let everything fall apart (understandably) and now within the last ten years are starting to put things back together. I just try to be supportive & positive and help in any way that I can.

Your friend may never let people back in or may. Each person is different. My mom's best friend always, year after year, called on the boys birthdays to remind her of it. This actually irritated my mother. Her heart sank with each call but she was always polite. A grieving parent learns to fake happiness. She just thought it to be inappropriate. They are not the friends they used to be.

So too much reminiscing is not good for some. Some parents are different and want the celebration of their child's life. Some just want to suffer silently and just go on. So, if you do find yourself in the company of your friend again, just be a good listener and a shoulder to cry on. This presents a whole new set of challenges for your friendship but give some space and don't give up.

You clearly don't seem the type to give up. You sound very caring & compassionate, reading up on it & asking for help in a forum such as this. I know you are suffering as well and that is doubly painful. Friends always want to make it better. This is just something you can not fix or make better, unfortunately.

Sorry for the long post, thought maybe something in it might help. My thoughts are always with you and your friend.

Take care!

A lovely young woman; the photo is beautiful!

I think reaching out to talk to others is very healthy for you. You took this step, so keep on taking more!!! You still have life to live and life to give!!! It's up to you!

I hope Ms. Carole (from the original post) does the same in time!

I have read about the reaction that you've written of & I think Carole is more of this type so I'm letting her "have space" but when I did send her, the link to the site, she texted me back that she LOVED it! Yes! Really, I do get much insight from what folks share & make no mistake-It Helps! Thank You

op this is not easy for anyone who loved Erin ... and may she R.I.P
all you can do is be there for your friend ... sometimes people heal from a child's death and go a positive way so this does not happen to another ... but some just loose that faith and have times in their lives they just want to be left alone ... give her the space she needs ... to over come the sorrow of it all ... first ... and if this is her only child just make sure she does not feel like committing suicide ... and try and get her professional help ASAP... these loses one can be pushed over the edge real easy ... many blessing to you and those that loved Erin ...

my condolences