I dont want to answer the OP Ms. Tilly.
I dont know how, it is too broad for me.


But I wanted to add my 2 cents on what have transpired on this thread
as a result of the OP..

may I narrow it down to Minglers.
Rude and Overly sensitive issue.

They sound like they are actually talking about Minglers, they are just too politically correct and brilliant for me, I cant prove if they are

Interesting thread.
Educational.

Rude
offensively impolite or ill-mannered?
or
roughly made or done; lacking subtlety or sophistication?

My opinion:

To the person 'allegedly " rude:
Factors has to be considered at least:
Motive/intent
Mood/Emotions at the 'alleged time the person is being rude'
Upbringing
Educational Attainment
Peers
His/her relationship or the lack thereof
of the person he/she is 'allegedly ill-mannered
and the location where the 'alleged' offensively impolite behavior occurs


I tend to lean heavily on 'intent' and the location where this said rudeness occur.

ON rude words in particular:
Does it matter if he/ she uses fancy words , respectful words or crude words, if his/her motive is to harm
Either you are tactless or disagreeable,
Accountability for me, should at least matter whoever u are, wherever u are.OUTSIDE OR INSIDE MINGLE.


Overly Sensitive
In Macmillan Dictionary,
it means, easily becoming upset about things that people do or say
In my personal dictionary,
it means, taking things too personally,
always over analyzing the situation.


In this one, political & religious beliefs, personal tastes and standards matter.

(Example 1 - OPINIONS)
If a person is hurt because I call some people in the capitol idiots,
and attack me personally, because they dont agree with my opinion OOOOORRRR vice versa
then that person for me is oversensitive..

He/she could just point it out to me, if he/she wanted to give his/her own opinion and wants me to know it..because there is seriously wrong with all of us, if we all agree on the same views, and if no one contradicts.
.OOORRRR
He/ she can just go on disliking me because of my opinion, either way it is his/her choice.

(Example 2 - EMOTIONS)

I am always defensive if my emotions are involved.
Let's not be hypocrites, all human beings at one time in their lives in or outside mingle is oversensitive to
'something' if it involves their own personal pain. It is what makes us human, no matter how intelligent or dumb you are.
Your choice though, if you want others to see your vulnerability or not here in Mingle.
Others would find it cute, inspiring or funny, others would find it unattractive, uncouth, and downright turn off.
Again, your choice..

DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES HERE IN MINGLE:

Regardless, of where you are on things..
right now you are in mingle,
It is your choice if you want to respect other posts or not,
either way it reflects who you are..

if you choose to be rude or polite,
if you choose to be overly sensitive or indifferent,
if you choose to be ingenuous or calculating,
if you choose to be conservative or loud,
if you choose to be well behaved or naughty,
if you choose to be good or bad,
or if you choose to have 'no say in the matter', at all

IT IS YOUR CHOICE. YOU ARE ACCOUNTABLE TO EACH WORD YOU POST.

The truth of the matter, at least to me, You are going to get branded no matter what. No matter what you do or say. Somebody is going to either think you are great. Or someone is going to think you are an a.s.s. I choose to say what I feel is right. Without meaning to be an a.s.s. I try to use tact. Which it seems to me a lot of people have no idea what that is.

But even when you try to use tact, some people are going to get mad and hurt. That's just the way the truth is sometimes. A lot of those type people will brand you an a.s.s. They don't want to hear the truth. They want to live in the fantasy of what they believe is the truth. It's just the way a lot of people are. In my way of thinking, it's just the way of the world.

I might agree with you on this ... some live off drama and talking behind others backs ...

Yes and over the years it becomes clearer and clear earlier and earlier which ones are just spoiling for a fight.

I read this post twice Sir, because it reminded me of my double standard, 1 for others and 1 for myself (one in my long list of shortcomings)..I'm still working on it though:)

Added to that, I have always been tactless ever since I can remember..this post made me somehow more determined to work harder on being tactful and be less disagreeable..

Very good perception sir..
All the best:)

I think if I react to rudeness with rudeness, it changes something inside me. I then become the rude person. I don't want to be that person.

And many times I reply in a caring manner because I think maybe he or she is having a bad day or something or just tired. We all have those days.

The silence response. Great idea. For some, silence is golden, if only they followed their own advice instead of just preaching it. :-)

Im am not rude to people. i try to make people smile. Yet I will speak the truth when it comes to God. He expects me to. He also expects me to explain what he says and God loves everybody. BUT he has rules. He gives us free will the path we choose is up to us. We can go the right way or the wrong way.

Basically I think that the Internet is like an good old Italian Carnival where people hide their real identity and plays games with each other. No wonder if someone is pust a little arround now and then on a dating service.

I like to save my rudeness if I feel the need to set up sharp lines. Its teens playing identity games or those taking part in the Carnival.

Hello my Name is God.

and i approve of that post up there.

All righty then.

I still stand by my posts in here. I try really hard to say what I think when I think it and not be rude about it.

I am always going to take the high road and not succumb to the rudeness of others I dont' walk in their shoes so therefore I can't judge them anymore than they can accurately judge me.

How true! Don't they get permanently banned here? I knew someone vile who was always bashing and baiting others and was finally promptly gotten rid of.

I believe it to be a combination of both, more rude, and overly sensitive.

The media, along with educational systems, are teaching a conflicted sense of entitlement.

Speak your mind, blast the person in front of you. AND, if they dare speak back to you, they're "hating".

The generation y mindset.

Something else to recognize about this subject:

the definition of "rude" changes. Often. Just during my life, it went from being taboo or rude to mention the existence of varying sexuality, to it being accepted to talk about it openly. It was once considered "rude" to interfere with a parent physically disciplining a child, or a husband using violence to "discipline" a wife.

It was once perfectly acceptable to make what are now commonly recognized to be incredibly insulting opinion statements about other people in public.

That constant change in what is "rude," means that any attempt to judge whether people are more or less rude, is extra difficult to calculate.

I definitely agree. Right on!

This also depends on the topic of conversation I think and who you are talking to ...

rudeness is every where on here an off of here ... is it the media some ... is it the tea baggers ... yep ...

and sometimes you have to wonder what is that person going through that would make them rude ... may not be you at all and their having a bad day ... but that's really no excuse ...

and all depends on your meaning of sensitive ... in some cases bullying on here is not right ...be it adult or child ... and sensitive like you wear your heart on your sleeve does happen to some ...so their feelings get hurt at the least little thing ... hard to really tell sometimes on the internet ... that is why so many get away at scamming ...
and yes if u attack me or I feel you have I will confront u about it and choose to ignore or block them ... but I can say the men I have met off line where ok but just not right for me ... and one I considered rude more then the others ...

Yes Mingle is pretty good at weeding out the chronic trouble makers. Sadly they are kind of like weeds in the garden that just pop back up by a new IP or coast under the radar for a while when they get kicked off another site.

I have seen several over the years that seem to follow a circuit and even run in packs, or maybe just have phantom friends with fake personas so it appears they are "legit". Some actually are , I use the term loosely, friends or friend/enemies that just enjoy carrying their feud's all over the net. What really knocks me out is when some of them are family. Sad when the kids get caught in the cross fire.

I work from the premise that if you are and adult on line you can figure out who the trouble makers are and everyone is on their own.

People who know me for years know I don't mince my words when I think "Tough Love" advice is needed as a response or if my BS meter starts pinging. If someone wants to blow off what I say as so much hooey; no skin of my nose; keep on trucking if it works for you. But if I take the time to say something it is usually because years of experience and the fact that most people deserve this to be so many parts entertainment with a little "education" mixed in is part of the social interaction. Will say I have learned as much as I have taught and some of my views develop even further after years of watching Mingleland.

100% agreement. total lack of character.

That and the businesses are tired of being sued by some customer that wants to cry they are being deprived their rights by being refused to be allowed in a business. I see people leave certain neighborhoods all the time because they get tired of dealing with low life customers that run off the few good customers they have.

I was in a mega retailer a couple days ago when customers actually cheered when they finally "evicted" one customer that was being so obnoxious to the extreme. It was only when another customer complained and gave them and "actionable" reason to put them out. Often we have to step up and support the business/employee we like even when it is a hassle.