These are signs from different countries that have been translated to english for the benefit of patrons, some go beyond hilarity....
;)

Acapulco hotel sign: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

Athens Hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 daily.

Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.

Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push botton for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

Copenhagen airline ticket office: WE take your bags and send them in all directions.

Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours--we guarantee no miscarriages.

Denmark: in a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Finnish washroom faucet: To stop the drip, turn **** to right.

German/Austria: a sign in a hotel catering to skiers read Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

German/Germany: in a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

Germany's Black forest sign: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.

Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

Istanbul hotel corridor sign: Please to evacuate in hall especially which is accompanied by rude noises.

Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.

Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

Japanese information booklet about a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of war in your room, please control yourself.

Kyushi, Japan Detour sign: Stop: Drive Sideways.

London department store: Bargain basement upstairs.

London office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

Majorcan shop entrance: English well talking.

Majorcan shop entrance: Here speeching American.

Moscow hotel lobby across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

Moscow hotel room door: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.

Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Roman doctor's office: Specialist in women and other diseases.

Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Sweden: in the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.

Thailand: an ad for donkey rides asked - Would you like to ride on your own ass?

Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.

Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find they are best in the long run.

Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

Yugoslavia: a sign in a hotel read The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. Turn to her straightaway.

Yugoslavia: in the Europa Hotel, in Sarajevo, you will find this message on every door: Guests should announce the abandonment of theirs rooms before 12 o'clock, emptying the room at the latest until 14 o'clock, for the use of the room before 5 at the arrival or after the 16 o'clock at the departure, will be billed as one night more.

Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.