sorry about the format of this

PARENT - Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION :
> Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
> Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
>
> JOB DESCRIPTION :
>
> Long term, team players needed, for challenging
> permanent work in an,
> often chaotic environment.
> Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekend and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
> Some overnight travel required, including trips to
> primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
> Travel expenses not reimbursed.
> Extensive courier duties also required.
>
> RESPONSIBILITIES :
>
> The rest of your life.
> Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
> until someone needs $5.
> Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
> Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
> pack mule
> and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
> in case, this time, the screams from
> the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
> Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
> such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
> Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
> coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
> Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
> Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
> an embarrassment the next.
> Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
> half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
> Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
> Must assume final, complete accountability for
> the quality of the end product.
> Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
> janitorial work throughout the facility.
>
> POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
>
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
>
> PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
>
> None required unfortunately.
> On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
>
> WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
>
> Get this! You pay them!
> Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
> A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
> of the assumption that college will help them
> become financially independent.
> When you die, you give them whatever is left.
> The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
> you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
>
> BENEFITS :
>
> While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
> no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
> no stock options are offered;
> this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
> and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
>
>
> Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do...
> or forward with love
> to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
>
> ** AND A FOOTNOTE "THERE IS NO RETIREMENT EVER!!!

Every word is true....