Is this a common practice or should I be worried?
I was single about a year or two ago and dated a guy for 4 months saw each other 4 times a week and messaged ever day then poof I never heard from him. I asked if he was ignoring me and he said yes so I asked why. He said nothing to do with me. Come to find out months later when I got a call from someone who introduced herself as his fiancee , they got back together and he proposed, wanting to know how serious our relationship was that I found out what happened.
I find myself single again, getting back together we the ex was a really bad choice, I met a guy and we started dating nothing serious but after a little over month poof I didn't hear from him so I asked why and was told he needs to work on being a better person. ?????
Aren't guys supposed to be the ones with balls? Why can they use them and just say you're a nice person and I like your but I don't feel that spark/special connection that I'm looking for so I think it's best to be just friends.
And if you're wondering no I don't try to continue to contact them if someone doesn't want to talk to me I'm not going to waste my time trying.

I don't know if its common, but I have seen male friends of mine do exactly what you describe. Not all of them, but just a few.

Sometimes I think couples just take for lack of a better word, a time out; play the field and rip out a few hearts, and then go back to the "devil" they know and all the mutual friends and family because it is just easier than breaking in a whole new crew.

My feeling is they get what they deserve and I am lucky they were gutless, because if the bonds are that strong they are going to be stepping out and boffing the old ex and I don't share.

Sometimes I think they don't believe they deserve better because I have had a couple tell me just that.

Not that it really makes you feel any better that it is not your fault. You still have wasted a lot of time and it is harder not to be cynical when you try again.

Big reason I don't date the walking wounded. I know they are going to sew some wild oats and then head back to the barn if they haven't been single for at least five years.

Only when these rotten apples, have a major crisis, it's only ever then that they'll realize what they could have had. Unless they are willing to apologize to you, don't accept anything less. I saw one of my ex's coming out of a pub, earlier today. I didn't bother saying hi. I just carried on walking home.

Both?


What do testicles have to do with anything?

Which is more "ballsy?"
Sticking around in a relationship you don't want to be in, until the negativity, sabotaging, cheating with ex's, forces a decision upon you?
Or choosing to just leave?

I know in utopia a guy behaves exactly how you want him to, and how you define him to, handing you perfect logical reasoning and arguments that you will understand and accept with minimal effort on your part, proving how smart and aware you are mentally and emotionally, all in triplicate with cover pages on the TPS reports.

Let me know when you find utopia.


Because they don't want to say that.
Because saying stupid things like that generally starts arguments and drama.
Because saying things like that is what women say. And men don't want to be women.
Because saying things like that would be a lie, and people will do what they can to avoid being liars, or avoid being shown they are liars, before they will face their lies.

Because saying things like that don't offer a negative reaction to associate with leaving, to transfer the negative emotions going on in the relationship to the end of the relationship. If there is a positive association, why leave? If there is no negativity, why leave?


Great. That's what you "say."
Without knowing you your entire life, what are guaranteed ways I can prove that to be absolutely true, to make sure that even though you say it you will behave the same way?
I can disappear and completely ignore you forever, and/or offer you platitudes so you vilify me and not want anything to do with me.


If you have kids, do you teach them that sometimes they need to just walk away?
Or do you teach them to always sit the guy with a knife down and say "I know you're really a nice person, I like you as a person, I just don't feel that spark of hatred towards you to want to fight you, I think it's best if we be friends."

People will choose to behave in ways that are ultimately in their own best interest, not in the interest of your desired emotional situation.

i've had that plenty of times, i guess it's just life?
sometimes people use others as a convenience until something better comes along i think, or i certainly have felt like this in the past

Yes it is common. Not all guys are like that so you need to fish in a better pond.

There's a saying ...

You gotta kiss a few frogs before finding a prince.

I haven't been single much so not used to dating. I thought, mistakenly, that at my age people would be more mature about relationships and be able to be honest about how they feel without playing games and wasting time. I have no problem if someone doesn't want to see me, just tell me.
It's nice to know others have experienced this too.

OP....unfortunately you are not alone in this. We all (men as well as women) have had to deal with peeps simply disappearing. In my experience, it is always them who have unfinished business/issues with an ex that they need to deal with.
Good Luck in finding the one who truly does have manners and feelings

Maybe that is your problem...IMO Take some time to get on your own feet and date a bit casually and NO I am not saying bed hopping..But keep it low key.Don't date each person as this is going to be the one I spend the rest of my life with.




I have a few years on you and well I have to be honest. When my guy and I became a couple neither one of us were looking for a relationship quite the opposite in fact. I have spent more time single that I have in a relationship so I knew from the start what I wanted and not wanted.

I don't consider it playing games by not making promises, just enjoying the moment, when and if someone started pressuring me I was like gone.. I don't consider it playing games I consider it being pressured when I never promised you anything more.




Again actions speak louder than words for me. So what they might not be saying in words they are sure saying in actions.



We all have experienced at some time or another someone walking away with out explanations. Yet if we really look back on it the actions were screaming they didn't just disappear they told us by their actions they were leaving. One way or another we just chose not to listen.

Best wishes in your search.

sounds like you just had a couple bad guys <shrug>
best wishs on the next one

This was causal in person dating I didn't think they were the one. It's taken me 2 years to break free of a 9 year progressively toxic relationship I'm not looking to jump right back into one. It ending didn't bother me it was the way it was done that bothered me. Bed hopping hasn't and will not be happening.

Hi, I joined over 3 years ago but never used it so now I'm back. Just got out of a relationship was not looking for one but gave it a chance. The guy had just gotten out of a relationship I told him I didn't want to be on the rebound told me he had wanted to approach me for a while. He would call, text, come by everyday. Telling everyone he wanted to marry me told him it was too soon. As the months went on I truly began to have feelings for him. We began to have some disagreement he started talking about we aren't going to make it without even talking. A couple of weeks I thought we had come to an compromise to work on things but the relationship was strained. then he started coming, calling and texting less. Then he starts telling me he's sick, got a lot on his mind, getting a job out of town. I told him that I was not a factor in his move he said that I was but I knew better. One day everything came to a head I told him I was tired of his shitty attitude, the he turns it in me that I don't care about his health and what he's going through that this made his mind up that he was moving I told him fine. Then a coupele days later he calls he just wants to be friends that we don't click and agrue too much. I told him it took 4 months not to click. I tld him to just be honest if he's with his ex just be a man about still no reply from that. So I can truly understand this. Now I'm just want to move on and find a decent guy. Any out there?

I've recently experienced this! The problem is that broken people, who haven't delt with psychological issues from their past, do this. I could be anything from trust, depression, rape, molestation, abandonment etc. my ex was molested as a child, and kept it suppressed for years. These people need professional help, but don't realize it. When they go through the
Ow stages of depression, they attract other people that are familiar. The Ex that he went back to, most likely is a broken person as well, and they go back to familiar/comfortable settings. They actually have low self value and are uncomfortable with people who show them the Love that they really want, but they don't love themselves enough to know how to accept it.

I am presently dating someone on another site that has left me for her former lover twice already. It certainly makes it tougher this time for sure. I turned my feelings loose very easily before but find myself holding back this time and just keep waiting for her to go again. Can't shake the feeling.

there are plenty of decent single men, and women out there ( somewhere) it's just finding them that's the problem and then keeping them interested, which i find is the hard bit, as there is always someone "better" waiting around the corner.

good luck!

No way you will find anything but a player with no photo and such a short profile.