I think it ultimately depends on the person. Age and MATURITY are really something you have to factor.

Lot of young people get themselves in a pickle because they think they know who they are and what they want and it is just too early in their development. Especially if they have never lived with out the support of family/school/ even the military. as long as you have someone besides and employer keeping you on the rails it is hard to know what you can really cope with on your own.

Also re they going to actually communicate or talk at you.

If someone knows they want you to trust them they are going to get down to the nitty-gritty and talk about what can sometimes be pretty personal stuff. It is a risk sure but do you want someone to want you or the illusion of you in their head.

Generally speaking I think you are taking a big risk in shacking up with someone you have not had a lot of dating contact with for the proverbial four seasons. It is easy to put on a front for several months. But when the seasons roll around, you start spending time around their friends and family (apple rarely falls too far from the tree) you get a better idea of what you are getting into. In a year it is likely you have seen them sick at least once. Or deal with a financial snafu. Maybe even a job loss. You should have and idea how they really live; are they your adorable slob or a neat freak like you. They say opposites attract but like fish and company the opposites can get to be a real grind. Better you find it out before you are locked in to a lease or other issues like pregnancy.

And I don't care what anyone tells you someone who is enjoying the FWB thing is still more than likely to upgrade to what they really want and leave you in the ashes. And how someone is living together is NOT how they are married. That is when all the extended family take the gloves off and rehash the order of things.

Too many people plan the wedding and forget to plan the relationship. Then things crash and burn pretty quick. So the questions you ask about all of that at least gives you a fighting chance of knowing someone. Probably still want to pay more attention to their actions rather than their words.

Some people "fool" you, because they don't really know themselves all that well to begin with.

They aren't dishonest, they'll say whatever they think is true, day after day. But then one day, they might stab you through your heart with some act which to them is meaningless, all because they genuinely didn't realize until that moment, that all along, they were just following some script in their head that they got from someone else.

As for the people who break up with you after years, and claim they never loved you, a lot of the time that's just vengeful blather. They are lying for effect.

I agree about lying for effect. Sometimes I think they actually know they are the ones that screwed up but it is just too painful to face the reality.

The whole I caught them cheating thing. I always want to know how could you not see it coming. I am not proud of it but I should have seen the handwriting on the wall when I married my Ex.

What I don't get is with all that is out there to show you how to spot some of these very obvious Red Flags do people who are literate and could self teach what skills they didn't learn from parents keep making the same mistakes?