Topic: Man Caves
no photo
Wed 05/27/15 10:51 PM
i wouldn't classify mine as a cave...maybe a studio...

4Browneyes's photo
Wed 05/27/15 10:52 PM
All I can gather out of a man or woman saying that they need to get away (man cave) not referring to a room in the house, but rather away from home for days.. with out their partner is a relationship going down hill or relationship of convenience. But not sure.

Datwasntme's photo
Wed 05/27/15 10:55 PM

I am not saying only Men do this or act like they need a break, I know a few females that say that also. But, from what I have seen of others in relationships when a partner prefers to do things alone... it is not good for the relationship.
And if that is the case... then why do they stay in it.?


well i do have a coupe friends that keep the stuff in a room that there wives hate / want them to through away

but as i have never really had one or want one
no idea

as far as why they stay
that could be many reasons
maybe the other likes having time to themselfs as well
maybe they like sending the other to there room : )

no idea really , never done research on it

Datwasntme's photo
Wed 05/27/15 10:57 PM
that was one of the other things that came to mind
at least they are at home rather then out on the (insert area)

dont know the few that i know with man caves seam to be all right

i love mingle forums : )
you all all ways have my mind rolling

4Browneyes's photo
Wed 05/27/15 10:57 PM
Edited by 4Browneyes on Wed 05/27/15 10:58 PM
smooched Thank you to all that are responding to this topic.

no photo
Wed 05/27/15 11:01 PM
Edited by Pansytilly on Wed 05/27/15 11:02 PM

All I can gather out of a man or woman saying that they need to get away (man cave) not referring to a room in the house, but rather away from home for days.. with out their partner is a relationship going down hill or relationship of convenience. But not sure.


quiet time...i think everyone needs it now and then...
having quiet time with a partner is great, tho....with the right partner...that would be a couple's retreat house...

4Browneyes's photo
Wed 05/27/15 11:08 PM
Edited by 4Browneyes on Wed 05/27/15 11:09 PM
I know a lone time is rare around my house. LOL But, I haven't been told that someone wanted to get away from me. Heck, around my house even the bathrooms are popular hang out spots. LMAO.

Unless crap happens.

no photo
Wed 05/27/15 11:12 PM

I know a lone time is rare around my house. LOL But, I haven't been told that someone wanted to get away from me. Heck, around my house even the bathrooms are popular hang out spots. LMAO.

Unless crap happens.


there is always the closet :laughing: :laughing:

4Browneyes's photo
Wed 05/27/15 11:14 PM
rofl

no photo
Wed 05/27/15 11:19 PM
:angel: :laughing:

SuzQ66's photo
Wed 05/27/15 11:20 PM
When we were kids, there were 6 of us, the rule was when Dad came home from work, he got 30 minutes to not hear any griping, bitching, tattling or whining. He needed some quiet re-set time to change from work mind-set to family mind-set.

4Browneyes's photo
Wed 05/27/15 11:24 PM
Thank you SuzQ66. :smile:

SuzQ66's photo
Wed 05/27/15 11:54 PM
flowerforyou

TMommy's photo
Thu 05/28/15 10:36 AM
Used to be dads would have a workshop or a den and that was their space to do their thing in. I don't see a man cave as being any differenthappy

mightymoe's photo
Thu 05/28/15 12:05 PM

Was meaning I hear a lot of guys say that they need to be alone. Or do not want their partner to be with them. I know a Man Cave is a decked out area where you can have fun. But, I was really meaning why does a man want to be in a relationship yet say they need time away from their partner? Must be a bad relationship.

not about being alone, more about having a place untouched by a womans decorating ideas... no pinks, flowers, anything that smells good, having some posters of half naked chics on the walls, a place where a woman doesn't touch anything, or move things around...

no photo
Thu 05/28/15 12:21 PM
I've never heard the expression 'man cave' but reading through the posts I gather what it is.

As for spending time away from each other, I'm not sure it does show that a relationship is in decline, in fact quite the opposite.

I wouldn't see a problem if one or the other partner wanted a few days away with their friends, I think that would show a strong relationship more than anything.

Then there is always that first night lovemaking when you get back, oh yeah ohwell

Sorry that last line was just me thinking out loud

driftingLuke's photo
Thu 05/28/15 01:05 PM
Edited by driftingLuke on Thu 05/28/15 01:11 PM
She's not asking about a "man-cave." She's asking about a man going on a hunting or fishing trip without their significant other for a few days and not worrying about her while he's gone, or that his absence will cause irreparable harm to the relationship. More specifically, about a man needing this away time.

A man should want to be a part of a woman's life, and a woman a man's. Absent one from the other, there should remain a whole life. I would never offer a woman half a life. I have a whole life in which I'm very secure, I'll happily offer it up to the right woman, I expect the same in return.

Goofball73's photo
Thu 05/28/15 01:39 PM

JustScribbles's photo
Thu 05/28/15 01:40 PM

Must be a bad relationship.


Not necessarily. I'm one of those that must have time to myself.

I don't know about all guys, but this particular one needs to be alone, in order to be comfy. If I'm around others, I think about others. Jeff gets lost. That's overwhelming, pretty often.

Can't tell ya how many times I've heard 'Gee, must be a bad relationship to chase you off by yourself.' That's not the case, at all. I just know, with certainty, that in order to get a 'full charge of my batteries' I need to be alone. Just wired that way, that's all. *shrugs*




no photo
Thu 05/28/15 06:01 PM
what are ya'lls thoughts on Man Caves? I hear a lot of guys say that they need to be alone

It's a vague description.

I know a Man Cave is a decked out area where you can have fun

It's not solely about having "fun."

why does a man want to be in a relationship yet say they need time away from their partner?

For lots of reasons.

Being in a relationship doesn't magically solve all stress or change someone down to their very core so all of a sudden "love" or their partner is a panacea for everything that bothers or fulfills them.

Being in a relationship does not mean someone grows an umbilical cord making the other person the sole means for emotional sustenance, focus, or meaning to their existence.

Some reasons for wanting to be alone can be harmless.
Like being an introvert. Or preferring a controlled, controllable, and defined environment.

Others can be indicative of a problem that's going to become more fleshed out as time goes on.
Like communication sucks in the relationship and they need time to think about their problems and then ambush you with them.
Or their personality has been a complete facade up to this point and they need time alone so they can remove the facade and the stress of maintaining it to be themselves.

I am not saying only Men do this or act like they need a break

I think there is a giant difference between having a "man cave" and saying "I need a break/space."

from what I have seen of others in relationships when a partner prefers to do things alone... it is not good for the relationship.

But now you are speaking in hindsight.
And possibly with information that wasn't clear, or obvious, or even accepted or looked at then.

why do they stay in it.?

Have you read the forums and profiles on internet dating sites and how much trouble people have in just finding someone they can date, or will date them, especially more than once?
Why do women stay in relationships where they are beaten?

Emotional bonding isn't an on/off switch where everything is happy la la la go lucky and pleasant until 1 single solitary thing comes by and flips that switch.
Most things are gradual, slowly moving from the subconscious to the conscious decision making personality.

I am referring to the partner going out.... for days... saying they need sometime alone.

If that's all they say "Hey, I need some time alone, I'm going to be gone for a few days," and then hang up or close the door and they are not seen or heard from again until they decide to come back, then I would say communication sucks in the relationship, the guy is aware of it, and knows that saying or doing anything else is going to lead to miscommunication, arguments, fights, and emotions and decisions spiraling way out of control.

Leaving for a few days is an attempt to try and control something.
Emotions, feelings, thoughts, fears, arguments, space, whatever.

If you're trying to control something, you don't want to get into a tug of war with it with someone else.

Of course some people say "I need some time alone, so I will be gone for a few days" when really they mean "I've been talking to hotties online, or ex boy/girl friends, and I'm going to go do stuff with them, but then it's going to be over and I'm coming back. I just have no desire to spend the next three days arguing or feeling bad about it, I just want to go do it and see what's up."

someone you might be meeting online (not in person) would tell you that the woman needs to understand that she is not always included on these outings (time alone) and that he wants to be Part of her life not her whole life. What does that mean?

It means run away.

It means:
- They've only ever dated people that glom on and act attached at the hip and are trying to weed them out not realizing it's mostly his own fault.

- They chase women as though she's the only thing in the world, gets all clingy and chasey, but then backs away as soon as she falls for it because he never really wanted to act that way, it was only to get him to like her, and he wants to stop being judged for backing away and not acting consistently.

- They are very controlling.

- They have a wife and he needs to go home some time.

- They are very scared of how he thinks women are going to behave, or expect.


If you're telling complete strangers how a relationship has to go, and what the other person has to expect, before you've even gone on a date, it's never good except for people that no one really wants to date, so maybe they are good for each other.
And it has nothing to do with man caves?