there's this guy who is so unlukcy, he made love to and inflatable doll, and her inflatable husband came in and beat him up

he's so unlucky, he got a kidney transplant from a bedwetter

he has no luck. he went to the big city, hid his money in his sock, and a midget picked his ankle

he ahs no luck. his inflatable doll just ran off with his airbag

if it was rainng soup, he'd be standing outside with a fork

he's very unlucky. last week his swimming pool burned down

a man lay dying, his wife by his side.
in a voice barely more than a whisper, he says to his wife
"dear, you've been with me through everything. remember when i tripped on that rake and broke my ankle? you were there. when i lost my business, you were there. now i'm weak and ill, and here you are again. you know dear, i think your bad luck!"

he's got no luck. he put a seashell to his ear and got a busy signal.

i know a guy who was sued by his wife for sterility, so he hired a lawyer.
then a girl sued him for fathering her child.
he got another lawyer.
HE LOST BOTH CASES!

luck is looking for a needle in the hay stack and finding the farmers daughter.

luck is when you marry a woman for love and find out later shes got money