1. if your shown a porno filma nd your bride-to-be is in it.
2.if you take a course on how to be your own best friend and flunk.
3.when you call a 900 number the girl says "not tonight, i've got an earache."
4. if you go to las vegas and the stamp machine beats you.
5.you call your own answering service and it tells you its none of your business.
6.your a loser if your twin forgets your birthday.
7.your a loser if you get married and your nor i the wedding pictures.
8.you know your a loser when your girl leaves you for a death row inmate because his future is brighter than yours