I was thought that a Christian can only divorce or marry another wife if his wife is not faithfull to him..and that apart from that, anyman who divorces or marries another wife not because his wife cheated and he cnt bear it is furnicating with his so called wife and will go to hell fire at the end.
I dnt get it..somebody help me...i wnt to understand if this is how its being thought in western world. Or it has a diff interpretation.
Cos i get congused more...if a man divorces his wife and marry another..not that the wife cheated. The man has sinned right? What will the woman he abandoned do? If she also goes to marry..is she also a sinning??

Luke 16:18

18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.



Matthew 19:9
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.


Seems there is no "justification" for divorce. That was a moses thing and nor was specifically permitted by God.



Matthew 19:8

8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

thanks dear...i asked cos of the rate at wich some do divorce..im cleard. Thnks

my understanding is that the two situations where divorce is not akin to adultery are in cases of the partner committing adultery(and thus breaking the vow/contract) or the other partner abandoning the marriage


for the original chosen, the rules were much stricter,, remembering that the justice required an eye for an eye,,,

but after Jesus,, the expectation was not retaliation with an eye for an eye, but instead to turh the other cheek

after Jesus, though there had been very stringent expectations on marriage,, there was a consideration of another alternative, namely if there had been adultery or abandonment

But many will be trapped here.
The rate at which pple r divorcing and remarrying is alarming especially in the western world.
But what if one is divorced before he or she accepted Christ. Can he or she marry agian?
What about if you marries a lady without knwing shez a divorcee and you eventually discovered when you r married already..what will you do?
I think pple got to be carefull before they settle down cos when you r in...you cnt come out of it again.

This is a tough one for me personally, because I left my marriage after 24 years. He is not a Christian, which is no excuse, but the mental torment left me ready to attempt to take my own life on 3 occasions. I still feel huge amount of guilt about it (leaving and those attempts on my life, even though I was suffering deep depression at the time). I have chose to be single, but my weak spirit moves me to want that happy and fulfilling marriage, with someone else. I would love a Christian man but would not want to jeopardize his salvation by being with me. If I find a non-Christian man and my love of Christ moved him to become Christian, again, I would jeopardize his salvation. I pray on it constantly, and ask anyone who loves Christ to pray for Me too. Thanks

i feel for you. Its not easy but with God its easy.
Dnt attempt to take your life again plz...
Life is the greatest of all one can think of or imagine.

I do not believe we are judged for what we don't know

and I do believe that adultery and abandonment are reasons given for divorce,,whenever one accepts Christ

but yes,, people should marry with careful thought

Dear JaUkNz,

God bless you for your openness and sincerity. God loves honesty and truth. HE will help you. Always remember that HIS grace is sufficient for you.

I believe that you can also tell God you are sorry for having walked out of your marriage and that HE should please restore your marriage. With men, this may seem an impossibility but with God, it is not an impossibility.

Either way - whether HE does this miracle for you or HE chooses that you have to remain single, HIS will always provides grace as well.

If it is a possibility, you may also need to communicate to the man that you are sorry for having walked away and to ask for forgiveness - not as a way of pulling him back (that's something that only GOD can do after 24 years!), but by way of fulfilling all righteousness.

And please know that all thoughts of suicide are from the pit of hell and are attempts by the devil to make you drag your own soul into hell. No murderer (including those who take their own lives) will inherit the kingdom of God.

God will help you! Cling to HIS grace through JESUS CHRIST. Amen.

Romans 3:23King James Version (KJV)

23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

Divorce is a sin, not matter whether you were saved or lost at the time of the marriage and the divorce, whether you were cheated on or abandoned or abused or just both lost interest. Remarriage is a one time sin of adultery. So even if you were not the "guilty" party in the first marriage, you now are. But you have started a new marriage which you are to respect as a covenant with God. Once you have confessed the sin of remarriage you are forgiven of adultery as long as you remain faithful to your new marriage.
Murder is sin. Destroying yourself with alcohol, drugs, or murder by gun, rope, cutting... even gluttony because...

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? 1 Corinthians 6:19 English Standard Version ESV

But ALL have sinned and God did not rank sin. Rather...

"Therefore I say to you, any sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven men, but blasphemy against the Spirit shall not be forgiven" (Matt. 12:31).

As a person whose first marriage ended in divorce, once I was able to understand and forgive my ex husband, God graciously lead me to a man who was also divorced due to adultery on his spouse's part and who put learning about God's holiness first and serving Him second in his life. He gave us permission to marry and serve Him together as long as we both lived. This wonderful man is now in full knowledge of what Jesus has prepared for us in heaven. God left me here to live abundantly and give Him the glory in whatever manner He choses. That may be remarriage and it will be okay with Him. Or it may be but being fully focused on Him and that will be okay with me. Just so I am being obedient to God and He gets the glory.

I wouldn't say the standard is to encourage a person who walked away to re-marry.

I must admit here that something struck me hard in a new way, in the two verses that cowboyGH had shared previously, to wit; "...and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery". (Luke 16:18)

The fact that the Bible says that whosoever marries a woman that is put away from her husband also commits adultery, makes the situation heavy.

I have read this verse many, many times but for some strange reason, I had always thought that the person who does the divorcing or does the putting away is the person who sins and that the person who is put away is not bound by any implications. Unfortunately, I see clearly that there is also an implication for that person who is put away.

No wonder God says in Malachi 2.16, "..I hate Divorce".

I have learnt one thing in my Christian walk: Looking for ways to satisfy my human cravings and fleshly desires always lead away from leaning on grace. But when we make up our minds to stick out with what scripture says, leaning on grace and God's power becomes the only way out. When we lean on God's grace and power, we carry on with strength that we never thought we had.

May His grace and power sustain us all; so that in that day, we will be co-heirs with JESUS CHRIST. Amen!

well I need to add my 2 cents in. In cases of violence or abuse of any kind is a reason for divorce. God doesn't want His children to be assaulted of belittled. I, also believe, if a spouse no longer follows Christ or turned their backs on God. Then you are no longer equally yoked. I think couples should try to get help before just divorcing (unless the relationship is dangerous)

Just my 2 cents

This Divorce of a thing is serious.
But i knw God's standered wnt change bcos of me or anybody.
..............................................................
I have an Uncle who married and wedded with the woman. But they got no child. For many years.
The wife even started blaming my uncle and calling him names..that his is importent.
And back here...when couples cant get a baby of their own they dont get along. Most dont even like to adopt
The woman got bad behaviours that made all of us the family members to stay away from her. And she doesnt like to come close to any of us either..
So after a while, my uncle met another woman and she became pregnant...my Uncle decided to take her as a second wife.
My Dad as a pastor (the Elderst in the family) did not go to the ceremony...he maintained he dont have anything to do with marrying a second wife for my uncle.
My uncle insisted and married her.
She got her two children..(two galz)
When the first wife noticed what has happened..she went and adopted a baby boy..without even consulting with her husband.
It really caused problems..but later our family decided to forgive her and accept the baby.
But we all are now in good terms with the second wife..shez a very good woman and works hard. Our family loves her.
It happned that last year...when we attended a cross over night program...
The man of God who preached Said "God showed him that there is a woman who was married into a family that another woman is occupying already".
That God said she is not the rightfull wife. That its the first wife that is the real wife in the family.
But luckly she did not attend the cross over night bcos she attend catholic church....
And when we heard this...Nobody wnt to make that move and tell her what God says concerning her stay in our family...
Maybe because of what the outcome will be and moreover we dont wnt to loose her and my Uncle may think we are making things difficult for his family..
So we all kept quit...

Hello, yellowrose10. I really like your name - maybe because I can't remember when last I came across yellow roses. It is really nice.

It is true that violence and brutality are really horrible and not at all condoned by God as between a husband and a wife. BUT we must also note that the Bible does not say violence is a condition for divorce. We need to make a distinction between our own perceptions and what God says in His word. In this regard, I believe the contents of 1st Corinthians Chapter 7, verses 10 and 11 (reproduced below) would be useful.

On the second point about differences in faith, in 1st Corinthians Chapter 7, Paul talks about this as well (verses 12 and 13 reproduced below):
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.

9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

But it is important to note here that this is talking about a situation of conversation of one spouse after marriage has been contracted; not one of deliberate disobedience to God's word about not getting unequally yoked.

God's richest blessings to us all. Amen!

Dear SmartDave5,

Thank you for sharing something so personal with the rest of us in this Christian community.

You already hit the nail on the head - that God's standards WILL NOT CHANGE because of me or anybody. This is so true. That's why HE is God and that's why the Bible says HE is no respecter of persons!

I bet it will be nice for you and the rest of your family members (who were at that vigil and heard those words of knowledge), to begin to intercede on behalf of your uncle and the two women in his life - for the mercy and grace of God to flow in; such that the wrong can be corrected as a follow up to repentance.

Your father took a stand for God's word by disapproving the second marriage. Believe me, when it is time to face God, it is the word of God that will judge us on the scale. The essence of the blood of Jesus is to redeem us and also for us to remain in that redemption. When we find JESUS CHRIST and thereafter return to disobedience to God's word without repenting of the disobedience, we cannot escape the judgment of God's word.

Believe me also that, absence of biological children, rudeness from a wife.......etc, will not be reason for God to change His word and His standard.

We always have all the excuses as human beings for doing everything we do, just as Cain had reasons for what he chose to do to Abel..etc.
But may God's mercy continually locate us and help us to always put things right and to abide by His word. Amen.

thanks alot...God bless.