... how different would your life be
if you would have met the right partner..hmm

.. my ex had a big influence on my life.
some very positive, and some negative..

.. but since my separation, I have met some very interesting women...

.. who I now think! if I would have met them first....
how different my life might be..
.. do you ever think..
. if only !..I would have met them first
. my life might be totally different..
there are a few women that I've met.
that I know if I would have met them first.. I probably wouldn't even be living where I'm living now....
.. these women were so encouraging and supportive..... my career choices might have even been different.....
.hmm... the choices we make I guess..

i don't know.

don't you think the 'right one' differs depending on where we are in our development?

yes and that's kind of the point..
. maybe if you were with somebody..
.. who is a little better match for you..
.. at that critical point in your development.. so to speak..
the outcome of your life would be altered and different now...

.... I have met a woman.. and when I think about if I would have met her years ago..... the changes my life would have tooken... perhaps . I would be happier in that relationship... I look at this woman and think.. well I know.. if she was around when certain things happened..... just because her attitude is different.... the outcome of the decisions that were made would be different.... I know it's not healthy to... compare apples to oranges... so to speak.. I do this thing where the women I meet... I swap them out with my ex..lol..
. and think how their response to any given question...
. is the opposite to what my ex would have said..

.. it tends to be more in line with what I needed to hear at that time..
... I don't know if that makes sense or not..lol

.

.

very different, which is what would have made them the 'right one',,lol

...life, choices...and a little fate....I really don't believe EVERYTHING is a conscious choice...(for me at least - I'm not a too great thinker).

Sometimes one thing can lead to another....and I am very grateful for the people I have met - read - listened to...that lead me to mainly no regrets.

And the difficult times...kind of forced me to think sometimes...so that's good too.

....hmm...

..except that maybe you would have ended up taking the things you value now for granted then...and it could also have ended...

max.. you must have met somebody.
buy now.. that you think.. geez I wish I would have met you years ago..lol

.. and I understand what has happened has happened for a reason so to speak.. I would not have two great boys right now.... if it wasn't for my past relationship...

...

I believe I am who I am today because of the choices I have made. If I had chosen someone different, I would be a different person. I like who I am even if I might not be pleased with the current circumstances, I do not want to change who I am.

yes i makes sense.

but the 'her' that you see, (i mean sea) now may not have been the same 'her' back then, because all of her life experiences to this point have made her who she is now.

she may have reacted differently then, to the things you describe in the present ... or someting like that. you following me here?

the point is, you cannot suppose too much here...

From my experience...what I was trying to say is Gibran says it best:

"When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." K. Gibran

yes it's an interesting paradox..

. the influence you may have had on them.. could change their outcome..



.... I'm mostly speaking of.. those people you meet now who are so...
. perhaps outgoing... adventurous..
. or maybe more career orientated..

. more family orientated..
just the opposite of your ex.... perhaps.... I meet somebody like this and I think.... I can definitely see how things would have been different with this person....

... and without getting too philosophical.... are into astrophysics.lol...
quantum physics..lol... I was just wondering if anybody else felt the same way... there's even a few women on this forum.. that I daydream about .. in the context of what it would have been like to be in a relationship with them...
..

YEAH....in the most superficial way...the only thing I thought is...jeez why did he cut his hair ? He looked REALLY sexy...but it's still ok...it can grow again too...ha,ha

I don't think my life would have been that different...I think I would have still done the same things...maybe a little different...but still on my route...

I am a better person for everything ,good or bad, that i have gone through. I learned lessons meant for me through my relationships. I've grown because of them. I also think i met them when i was suppose to. I would not change a thing..not even the pain.

Really?

...as we speak I realize how terrible egotistical I am....

YEAH !!! Really...

yes ..and that's my point max..
perhaps in a different relationship..
this hypothetical partner.... would have given you more .hmm..
.. nurturing perhaps..lol.... so that you would not be so egotistical now..lmao...

Okay now I SEA maybe I wouldn't be so sarcastic nope not a chance.

Well I would be married to Charlize Theron.

Remember that while your choices have made you who you are today so have the choices of the ladies. Neither of you were the same "back then". The variables are too great to contemplate.
Live in the now, accept the now and carry on...