I'm not fond of the argument above... to some of us, it is rude. It's the same as a no but from a person with no manners... I would not like that kind of person anyway... I just say rude

If you are not interested in women, why did you join Mingle? Yes I agree the majority of people at Mingle are scammers and time wasters but don't be discouraged... I am not a scammer although I have been scammed 3 times this month !!!

So anyone who doesn't react to messages the same way to messages that you do "it means they don't have the kindness or manners that you are looking for."?????

I got a message from a 30 y/o that is over a thousand miles away....does it mean I have no manners and that I'm rude because I didn't respond to her message?

I find it's rude and shows and lack of manners to assume anything about someone you don't know. I'm pretty judgmental and opinionated but I wait until AFTER I know how people think and/or know why they act a certain way before making a THOUGHTFUL determination about a person.
This reminds me of people who say they don't like opinionated and/or judgmental people......they can't see they are being opinionated and/or judgmental about other people. Those who accuse others are often guilty of their own accusation.

NO ONE owes anyone a response to an unsolicited message. Is it rude not to send a response to unsolicited snail mail for products or services you aren't interested in???? I think this is just more of the entitlement attitude and an oversensitive attitude that has become embedded in the minds of some people on and offline.

I keep seeing the debate point that "would you not say hello to a stranger who said something to you on the street."

It depends a lot on the person and the time and type of comments they make.

If they clearly are saying or doing or wearing/not wearing something I find offensive no I do not. I may look at them but if I don't make direct eye contact, smile, wave, or some other way indicate I am interested in a conversation I expect to be left alone. Especially if they are considerably younger, with someone, drinking, throwing gang signs, or in a bathroom.

Clearly if I have not responded to a hello, a nudge, or being told I have been added as a favorite then common sense would show I am mot interested.

Since clearly all that are on Mingle have the ability to read profiles; and know the person they are greeting preference's I think many are just being aggressive and insisting on a response like a spoiled toddler demanding attention.

I sure don't think being a Mingle member entitles me to anything and if I contact someone who does not respond I don't assume they are rude, defective, or even disinterested. Nobody being on Mingle gives up their right to choice or is required to be at anyone elses Beck and call IMHO.

I see two sides to this debate:

First I must point out that if you are on a dating site you should try to honestly represent yourself. I know that some are on here for different reasons but some are actually trying to find someone special to share their lives with. You Must read the profile and make your first contact memorable.
Now for the two sides:

On one side you have the option of contacting many with some responses (If you contact them correctly, for their interests). There are people that actually read your first contact and then view your profile then Decide whether or not to contact you back.

On the other side, You can pester someone into giving you a chance if you make your contact and your profile appealing. I know, in my youth I have pestered someone I liked into acknowledging me. I have pestered employers everyday to land a job I really wanted. In person, pestering can work.

I was in Goodwill today looking at the used books and saw a woman that appealed to me. She also was viewing the book assortment and I moved my browsing closer to her. I noticed no ring on her finger and kept glancing at her in the corner of my eye. She never looked at me once. Had she, I would have asked her if she was looking for a specific author. But since she never considered me I left her be and continued my browsing.

Online dating can be much like that. As a man, I notice women and I do look at the pictures. The pictures inspire me to look at their profile. If I read that profile and it is blank or full of qualities I suspect are not accurate I pass them by. However, If I read things that I find appealing to me I remember them. If I view them and they don't view me back, I move on. But if the view me I sometimes introduce myself. If I get no response I move on. Sometimes I will revisit their profile to let them know I am still interested.

For those that I have met on dating sites the reason we met was because not only did I reference her profile information I included similar intrests of my own in the messages. I worded my messages to be open-ended to make it easy for her to respond on topic. I have never met anyone in person by talking sexually or being crude or insensitive.

If you consider the ratios, Women are bombarded with crude, insensitive and downright nasty messages. I can understand why they never respond, even to good messages because of what they commonly see.

Just because you get no response it should be no reason to stop trying. Each person is a new prospect so when you do message someone, really mean what you say. Eventually you will get a response.

Lets make everyone who doesn't reply....
Stand in the corner with a pointy hat on their head




Oh excuse me....


I have to stand in the corner with a pointy hat on my head

I guess I must come off as rude to quite a few people then. It is not my intention but I don't think I am obligated to respond to every message. There is no way I would have time for that. I probably ignore 90% of the messages I receive by filtering them out. Before I even read a message I check the profile pic by right clicking and seeing if they are on any scam buster websites. The majority are so I instantly block. The rest I look for keywords and how they address me and that has me deleting quite a few as well. I also instantly delete any first messages that include an email or phone number or someone asking for mine. I am not looking for a date or a hook up which is clearly stated in my profile so why encourage someone by responding? Even if you tell them you aren't interested in anything other then friendship you are going to get 10 more messages trying to change your mind so rather then waste everyones time I simply don't respond.

I am with you... I think it very unkind, and rude to say the least. I also thank them for their notes/emails, and then if I am not interested in them, I send them and tell them Thank you for your interest.. Good luck finding your #1 cm

some of the other sites i have been on had a few canned no thanks messages that were a click away right at the bottom of the message page

The real problem is some people have either forgotten the manners they were taught, or they were never taught any at all.. It just comes down to SIMPLE HUMAN KINDNESS, and treating others like you would want to be treated!!!! cm

Copy and paste works.

Hi I whole heartedly agree I've not been on here long but I was bought up with manners and can not for the life of me WHY women in my case don't not have the Curtisy to reply
If someone takes the trouble to message someone the least they can do is reply
I would rather have a no thank you than no reply

And what if you feel butt hurt over their no? What about the almost inevitable follow up to the no asking, why not me? Responding to someone you're not interested in is almost asking for a continuation of a conversation you want no part of.

I'm not sure why some people feel they are "owed" a response. I must've missed that in the fine print when I first signed up for the site. The "I was raised properly and it is the right thing to do" argument also doesn't fly. YOU CANNOT FORCE ANOTHER HUMAN to talk to you (unless you are using physical force). What YOU would rather have means absolutely nothing to the stranger on the other side of the e-mail who is not interested.

Just friggin' move on when you don't get a response, FFS.

was gonna formulate an answer



decided meh not gonna reply

Biotch!

I wish they had it here. I hate the nudges.. I mean absolutely hate those things.I still respond to all my emails the first time around with a thanks but no thank you it gets very very old to get the same emails from the same people.
Those I just delete.

I also answer all messages. Even if it seems like a scammer, I let them know in a subtle way that I am on to them, like when they ask for a phone number in the second message, I just say its to soon to be asking for my digits, if they respond okay, usually they don't.

If you send me a message, i will most certainly reply respectfully regardless of match potential or anything else. It's common courtesy and yes i read all of the other replies to this thread. When another human being takes the time to read one's profile, spend time to say something to another, one should AT LEAST let them know conversationally a reply. To ignore that is just plain RUDE.

If anyone would like to argue that fact with me, please feel free to do so. But also remember i have saved peoples' lives in the past. And i ignored those that neither grabbed my arm nor said anything. It wasn't based on their looks, their money, or their breath. And i have noticed that it is usually the people that say they are "kind and generous" in their profiles that are the rudest of all. Amazing how that works. ;)