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| Topic: Good vs Nice | |
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we have a lot of nice guy type threads on the site, over and over again
I notice, most horrendous crimes like serial killers, rapist, mass shooters, are afterwards referred to as such 'nice' guys,,,,lol perhaps that is subconsciously why 'nice' doesn't cause the immediate embrace of a man that many expect it to be? now a GOOD Man (or woman) is something different I found a cool list in an article about nice and good Good People •They understand the battle against evil but never take pleasure in its defeat, rather sadness in its necessity. •They have consistent integrity. •They say what they mean and mean what they say. •Good men and women are warriors of a sort. They do not tolerate injustice but also do not seek to punish or exact revenge. •They are temperate of mind and heart. •They have substance. •They are responsible in that they respond to others . •They are appropriately (not helplessly or cunningly) selfless. •They are empathic without being passive. •There is no pretense in them, and they are willing to be good without seeking approval or awards of any kind. •They are the last ones to see themselves as good and definitely the last ones to tell anyone they are. Super Nice People •They are "charming." •They interact with a pseudo-intimacy, behaving as if they'd known you personally for years. •They engage you on their terms only, even if you don't realize it. •They can seem very passive and quiet. •They relate to you on the surface and let you in only so far. •They do not respond to your needs but gloss over them in a way that makes you wonder what you needed that for. •They are very intent on pleasing others or ingratiating themselves into a social network. •They need to maintain a persona or a position in a social circle at all costs because how they are seen is more important than who they are. •They manipulate. •They are like perfume -- very sweet but often used to cover what is deeply offensive. •They have no compunction about lying to get what they want so long as they are nice about it. •And, they will inevitably tell you how good they are. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/judith-acosta/nice-but-not-good-the-art_b_772965.html |
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Good comparison! Thanks for sharing!
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That's probably one of the best lists I've read describing the difference between good and nice. Very accurate indeed!!!
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Wow!You learn something new everyday
 I thought they were the same,and from THAT list,I know wish one I'm NOT,"super nice"!!!
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Hmmm...that's interesting enough...kinda makes you look at who you know and what you may have already known...it seems that being a " good" person is a born trait and being a "nice" person is a learned trait...I still go with what my mom used to say..." Eyes are the mirror to the soul "... And you can see the difference between "good" and "nice" most of the time just by looking straight into another's eyes...hope everyone is gifted with a very Happy New Year full of beautiful days and tons of happiness...and of course...I hope you find "good" people to spend your days with...
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Good thread MsHarmony. Me, I never considered myself good or nice; just a normal person. If people think I am good or nice then fine but if not that is equally fine. Not everyone is going to like me for who I am and I accept that.
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This makes no sense to me. Are you saying that nice people can't be good or vice versa?
Someone acts nice to you, they are fake? Wow. All the attributes you list for good people can absolutely apply to nice people as well. Whoever wrote that just assigned some arbitrary qualities to "nice" and "good", basically making up their own definitions of the words. I don't always agree with navygirl, but in this case I think she's bang on. People are people. Nice and good are labels put on them by others. |
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This makes no sense to me. Are you saying that nice people can't be good or vice versa? Someone acts nice to you, they are fake? Wow. All the attributes you list for good people can absolutely apply to nice people as well. Whoever wrote that just assigned some arbitrary qualities to "nice" and "good", basically making up their own definitions of the words. I don't always agree with navygirl, but in this case I think she's bang on. People are people. Nice and good are labels put on them by others. |
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People are people..nice and good are labels put on them by others.. Good point, actually I liked this a lot I think we should focus more on what we have in common like our common values and beliefs . It is very easy to trow a group of people into a bucket and judge them as a whole by attaching a label. They are too many stereotypes out there and labels don't help. Some people are labeled something and they do the things that stereotypes would but not everyone is like that. We are who we are. Labels shouldn't define us! |
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I agree with lu-rosemary, msharmony.
What happens if a persons personality contains all those points of good and nice? Labeling people creates segreagtion in society. |
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It�s funny that not so long before I talked to a friend of mine just on the same topic. Or better, we talked about her ex, whom we both knew as a very nice, charming man and none of us could belive when it came out what was his real face under the superb surface. Just a manipulator, who wasn�t able of telling one true word, not even able to except the truth when was confronted with it, defending himself by calling her nasty and abusing. And that was complete nonsense.
Well, this topic is really a good one. Good people can be nice, but nice people don�t have to be good. Nice behaviour is something that can be learned and used only on surface, sometimes just in order to manipulate the others. The ones who are good are good within themselves, their attitudes toward others can be totally opposit then those of "just" nice people. For example sociopaths (http://m.wikihow.com/Spot-a-Sociopath or http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15850/1/Characteristics-of-a-Sociopath.html). Extremely charming, nice, but can be dangerous for people around (all the characteristics showed it was my friend�s ex too). There really is a huge difference between nice and good. |
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Edited by
SpicyExcel
on
Sat 12/27/14 05:56 PM
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double post
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Edited by
SpicyExcel
on
Sat 12/27/14 05:55 PM
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we have a lot of nice guy type threads on the site, over and over again I notice, most horrendous crimes like serial killers, rapist, mass shooters, are afterwards referred to as such 'nice' guys,,,,lol perhaps that is subconsciously why 'nice' doesn't cause the immediate embrace of a man that many expect it to be? now a GOOD Man (or woman) is something different I found a cool list in an article about nice and good Good People •They understand the battle against evil but never take pleasure in its defeat, rather sadness in its necessity. •They have consistent integrity. •They say what they mean and mean what they say. •Good men and women are warriors of a sort. They do not tolerate injustice but also do not seek to punish or exact revenge. •They are temperate of mind and heart. •They have substance. •They are responsible in that they respond to others . •They are appropriately (not helplessly or cunningly) selfless. •They are empathic without being passive. •There is no pretense in them, and they are willing to be good without seeking approval or awards of any kind. •They are the last ones to see themselves as good and definitely the last ones to tell anyone they are. Super Nice People •They are "charming." •They interact with a pseudo-intimacy, behaving as if they'd known you personally for years. •They engage you on their terms only, even if you don't realize it. •They can seem very passive and quiet. •They relate to you on the surface and let you in only so far. •They do not respond to your needs but gloss over them in a way that makes you wonder what you needed that for. •They are very intent on pleasing others or ingratiating themselves into a social network. •They need to maintain a persona or a position in a social circle at all costs because how they are seen is more important than who they are. •They manipulate. •They are like perfume -- very sweet but often used to cover what is deeply offensive. •They have no compunction about lying to get what they want so long as they are nice about it. •And, they will inevitably tell you how good they are. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/judith-acosta/nice-but-not-good-the-art_b_772965.html 
I read part of the article and yes it did openly direct the article towards men, but the article was actually about "...Narcissists...", which inflicts both genders not just men. Narcisssism does not inflict just one gender, but both and should be addressed this way. 
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This makes no sense to me. Are you saying that nice people can't be good or vice versa? Someone acts nice to you, they are fake? Wow. All the attributes you list for good people can absolutely apply to nice people as well. Whoever wrote that just assigned some arbitrary qualities to "nice" and "good", basically making up their own definitions of the words. I don't always agree with navygirl, but in this case I think she's bang on. People are people. Nice and good are labels put on them by others. the list is part of a bigger article,, it explains that nice and good are not exclusive,, people can be both,, but they aren't necessarily one , just because they are the other,,, |
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I agree with lu-rosemary, msharmony. What happens if a persons personality contains all those points of good and nice? Labeling people creates segreagtion in society. it was not the intent,, I was pointing out more that they are not the same thing |
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I'm part good, nice, and a**hole.... You forgot the a**hole category OP..
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Nice is having good manners and good is having good intentions. People who are open and have good intentions are the ones who are good, the rest you can't be sure or take time to know, but some of them are also good. You have to take your time to know a person.
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I'm part good, nice, and a**hole.... You forgot the a**hole category OP..
 Toast to jerks and A hLe !! 
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Morality makes stupid.-- Custom represents the experiences of men of earlier times as to what they supposed useful and harmful - but the sense for custom (morality) applies, not to these experiences as such, but to the age, the sanctity, the indiscussability of the custom. And so this feeling is a hindrance to the acquisition of new experiences and the correction of customs: that is to say, morality is a hindrance to the development of new and better customs: it makes stupid.
Whoever has overthrown an existing law of custom has always first been accounted a bad man: but when, as did happen, the law could not afterwards be reinstated and this fact was accepted, the predicate gradually changed; - history treats almost exclusively of these bad men who subsequently became good men! -Nietzsche |
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wow... I have to remember all of that op ... to confusing for me ...
either I will like them or will not or like them as just a friend ... I feel like i would need to take that list with me on my nxt date lol thats way to hard lol no... some where cool ... 
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