A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up
behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.

"What was that for?" he asked. "That was for the piece of paper in
your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it," she replied.

"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explained.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known there was a
good explanation."

Three days later he was watching a ballgame on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, "What the hell was that for?"

She replied, "Your horse called".

Busted!!!

cute

LMAO

this is funny to me, let me know what you think:



A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could
hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting
nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass
If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.

At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took
a drink.

He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found
the following note on the door:

1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to
as Daddy, Junior and the spook.

8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the **** out of
him.

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his
donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."

11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he
said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat
me".

12)The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry".

13)The recommended grace before a meal is not:
Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.

14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at
St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's

sxy, that is funny....but it would have been better if you had posted it in your own thread, 'just click on post new topic'.

cbelle..