This is meant to be funny

Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.

Your Clothes

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

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Preparing for the Birth

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

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The Layette

1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

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Worries

1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

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Pacifier

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

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Diapering

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

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Activities

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, BabySwing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

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Going Out

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

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At Home

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

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Swallowing Coins

1st child: when first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: when 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for coin to pass.

3rd child: when 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!

So true!

You know, I have to respond to the potshot at women and the clothing they wear after having kids. I don't think it was cool to post that. Maybe for an inside "guy" laugh at the expense of women.

I have 3 children, and each one is a miracle to me. No, I don't look like the 94 lb girl I was before baby 1. But if you asked around, you'd still probably hear that I am an elegant and beautiful woman. Generalites aren't funny.

The truth for alot of women is that after having children their bodies change. And for men, that becomes a problem. In our culture there's an expectation of perfection for women, but check out the same expectation of men. Tell me if you don't see fat, ugly, bald, old, below average men in the same images a good portion of the time. The message? You can be a very average or below average guy and that's ok, but you must be stunning if you are a woman.

Here's one back at you.

In their twenties, guys are trim and muscular.

In their thirties, the belly comes out.

In their forties, the hair is grey (if they have any of it left), and the belly gets bigger.

That's a truth too, no?

I guess what I am trying to say is why blanket "all women" with generalities. Not true of everyone. Neither is what I said.

Long Sigh It was meant to be funny You know that thing called laughing having a fun time..enjoying..Heck I thought what you said was very funny

Geez GreenEyed! Lighten up! It was a joke!! I have had multiple children and no, I'm not the 100 pound vixen I was before having them (25 years ago) but I thought it was funny!!

OMG OMG OMG

green eyed, they have doctors and medicine for what ails you!

this was funny!

Hey, at lest women do have a reason. Considering your belly stretches out about a foot and empties in a matter of moments.
Guys can't say that now, can they...

LOL..very funny Floh

glad i could entertain...

hahahahahaha!!!!

...now, the only way they actually might have a point...if theirs are all hot air...yup...certainly wouldn't wanna be around for that one though...

I thought it was hilarious and i think someone has an inferiority complex........JMO

No actually iceprincess, I don't. I just think that this post was very funny. Whether you like my opinion or not, it was my reaction to what I read.

Why is it people are so uptight? If you don't like your body...do something about it...holy moly people!!
Great post

Greeneyed, your statement "I just think that this post was very funny". Is it missing "don't" or have you changed your opinion about the humor of the post?

Thats cute, I think Im gonna print that up and gove it to both my parents. thanks for sharing :)

I still think it's hilarious...especially bc a lot actually rings true...besides, I love my kids and think having them makes it worth no matter what I look like!

i thought it was funny and i'm fat !!
Greeneyed have a beer and pull the stick from your butt.